Today, the guy I was seeing put candles all over his room to make things romantic. As we were getting it on, a plastic bag caught fire next to the bed. He had the brilliant idea to wave it around to put it out. Burning pieces of plastic landed on my arm. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was getting it on with my cute guy friend in his candlelit bedroom and we had just started tearing each other's clothes off. I decided to be coy and sexy and flip my hair to the side. As I did so, my long hair caught in the flames of his lit candles and caught half of my head on fire. FML
Today, I was trying to be sexy in the bathtub for my boyfriend. I leaned back and caught my hair on fire with the candle. FML
Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my partner by lighting candles all over the living room. It looked magical… until one candle melted the TV remote into a puddle of plastic. We spent our romantic evening trying to Google “How to change channels without a remote.” FML
Today, my hand is covered in blisters because my boyfriend thought it would be fun to set an old insurance card on fire. Out of panic, he slapped the card against the wall in a failed attempt to put it out. Also out of panic, I slapped the flaming wall with my bare hands. FML
Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said, "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML
Today, I invited my girlfriend to come over, telling her I had a surprise. I filled the bathtub and lit a lot of candles to be romantic. She gets here, and we start doing our thing. Until we smell something burning. It was my hair. I now have a bald spot on the back of my head. FML
Today, I was having trouble blowing out the last of the several candles on my bedside table. Exasperated, I blew as hard as I could, which sent hot wax from the other candles shooting into the air, all over my face and into my eyes. FML
Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML
Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML
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Top comments
WhySoSrs 0
That made me laugh. Oh, well. It's the thought that counts, right? :D
Bloodknight 22
Haha wow, he really can turn on the charm can't he, bwahaha!
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Comments (35)
haleystarship 0
Is Haley 1st? i'd think so
KyleSays1 0
lol
ImsoMikhail 0
I hope you die haley...
dakota_nikole 0
just comment on the FML
Matt_greener 8
And 0 ***** were given that day.
WhySoSrs 0
That made me laugh. Oh, well. It's the thought that counts, right? :D
Urbanchiller 0
Fastest plastic surgery ever!
Bloodknight 22
Haha wow, he really can turn on the charm can't he, bwahaha!
bosshaug 0
God damn this is like the 20th fml this week about candles and "making things romantic"
Mx_Rider 6
tell her to open her legs im telling you man
Mx_Rider 6
i mean whats up with the candles see you burned ur gf almost or wife or whoever the f shes is i suggest you "Get straight to it like theres nothing to it"
haneki_fml 0
What's with people thinking their life sucks because they sustained minor injuries? Get over it, you probably already healed!
LadySteph12 0
For the record, I submitted this over a month ago, and although the burns healed, I still have huge scars all over my right arm. So no, I don't think they're minor injuries...
perdix 31
I wouldn't be surprised if this guy gives you burning sensations elsewhere on your body. When you go to the doctor for your burns, get checked for VD :)
alove23 0
atleast he tried...
JassyJas 2
well things got heated up