Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML
Today, I walked my girlfriend home. As I kissed her goodbye, I heard a high-pitched scream and turned just in time to see her little brother charge head-first into my nuts. All because I kissed her on the cheek. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my girlfriend's family. Her 7 year old brother told me he was feeling sad, so I tried to give him a pat on the back, but it turns out he had a bruise there. He yelled out "don't touch me there!" In the middle of the mall. Now her parents think I'm a pedophile. FML
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML
Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my Facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one with the smallest dick I've ever seen." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have fun at school. So, we went into the locker room. We were making out for a couple minutes when the door opened. It was the principal, who also happens to be her dad. FML
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Top comments
sarbear293 4
So.. Is it true?
chasingmountains 0
Good things come in small packages
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Comments (183)
perdix 31
That's why we don't shower after gym class. Word gets around.
JediScum 1
Perdix! I have to say your comments are always fun. I always look forward to reading and trying to comprehend the foul depths of your double meanings. Such fun!
Cartera 10
!!Nutrider!! lol jk
bs0092 12
Chike a bitch!!
SettoFail 9
Fail.
BullletProof 5
LOL sorry, i know some girls like that XD But FYI, the size of your dick doesnt need to be massive. ******'s come both big and small too. I for one can't comfortibly wear a slim-fit tampon. so don't worry about it - not every girl out there is a loose hoe bag.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Um, I use regulars. That doesn't make me a loose hoebag, thank you very much.
vturbz91 0
Aha micropenis .... Search it up lol
THE_A_TEEN 28
I feel your pain about having a small penis, OP. I'm pretty much self conscious about my size. Ignore that idiot and confront your girlfriend about it.
DarlingMewMew 2
Lol I probably would've said yep too~ but I would've been sarcastic.
SettoFail 9
Hahahaha what a bitch
JamesJohn89 4
Haha fyl, get good at foreplay "TINY PENIS!"
nvo 6
Are you sure she didn't mean to get back at the annoying kid?
jpmc808 1
Oop damn!