Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML
Today, I walked my girlfriend home. As I kissed her goodbye, I heard a high-pitched scream and turned just in time to see her little brother charge head-first into my nuts. All because I kissed her on the cheek. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my girlfriend's family. Her 7 year old brother told me he was feeling sad, so I tried to give him a pat on the back, but it turns out he had a bruise there. He yelled out "don't touch me there!" In the middle of the mall. Now her parents think I'm a pedophile. FML
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML
Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my Facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one with the smallest dick I've ever seen." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have fun at school. So, we went into the locker room. We were making out for a couple minutes when the door opened. It was the principal, who also happens to be her dad. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
sarbear293 4
So.. Is it true?
chasingmountains 0
Good things come in small packages
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (183)
Masii 3
She sed yep but she still gonna get in bed with you. Atleast you still gettin some.
irishman1989 0
I'd ****** end it with that *****
GoW_Chick 15
Damn... She has got a wicked sense of humor, hey but I bet her motto is "it's not the size that matters, it's how you use it," since she is still with you, so you've got to be doing something right.
Fmlsea 28
Thats gotta hurt abit tho surely ur gf could of gone about that a better way
KiddNYC1O 22
Don't worry, if you're in elementary, it'll grow more.
sorrowevicteon 9
Kudos, you were the first comment to make me laugh...
ladyLALAA 29
Haha, I was thinking the probably haven't even had sex, if so doesn't matter.....
GoW_Chick 15
Maybe he took a peak for comparison at shower time after gym... Guys do that right?
godisnowhere41 5
I take it you don't think honesty is the best policy do ya?
renesmeebb 0
Was the kid right?
afulks78 11
At least she's honest ? :)
mralwaysright124 2
Ydi