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Anonymous - 16/07/2012 00:12 - Canada - Brampton

Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML

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audreyav - 30/06/2012 08:10 - United States - Dallas

Today, I discovered my cat's favorite hobby: sitting butthole-first on my favorite makeup brush. FML

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Ouch

fuckjuggalos - 29/06/2012 23:57 - United States - Eugene

Today, I found out just how easy it is to be launched against the wall and sucker-punched into oblivion by a 200-pound former Marine turned professional body-builder. I discovered this after I told my fiancée's dad that we were expecting a baby. FML

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minimum wage - 02/04/2012 08:38 - Canada

Today, I walked in on a homeless guy peeing on a turd on the floor of the women's restroom at the park. I'm a janitor for the city. FML

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Charlatans

freakofnature - 31/03/2012 16:17 - United States - Valparaiso

Today, I visited my new doctor, hoping that he would be able to figure out the cause of the pains I've been having for years. He told me there's nothing he can do, that half the drugs out there cause cancer anyway and that I should look into homeopathy. Great. FML

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