Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML
Today, I walked my girlfriend home. As I kissed her goodbye, I heard a high-pitched scream and turned just in time to see her little brother charge head-first into my nuts. All because I kissed her on the cheek. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my girlfriend's family. Her 7 year old brother told me he was feeling sad, so I tried to give him a pat on the back, but it turns out he had a bruise there. He yelled out "don't touch me there!" In the middle of the mall. Now her parents think I'm a pedophile. FML
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML
Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my Facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one with the smallest dick I've ever seen." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have fun at school. So, we went into the locker room. We were making out for a couple minutes when the door opened. It was the principal, who also happens to be her dad. FML
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Top comments
sarbear293 4
So.. Is it true?
chasingmountains 0
Good things come in small packages
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Comments (183)
asherm 15
Ouch! Maybe you're fine, but it's like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.
mama2b3 20
I'm sorry OP :/ Even if it's true she didn't need to announce it, that's pretty insensitive.
lmgk 0
Exactly
jbsington 8
Doesn't matter, had sex.
keriganlaynee 0
Drovee....!
BellaMarta 19
Hah, someone did that to my ex.
GoW_Chick 15
Is that why he's your ex...?
BellaMarta 19
Good question.
lostdiadem1 0
That's when you tell her she's fat
jackelope13 0
She's a bitch
06rubiandrea_fml 5
No she is not! She just told the truth...
sassypants93 17
...in a bitchy way.
06rubiandrea_fml 5
as I said before,only the truth hurts...that said,she is not a bitch because she told him what she thinks...he should learn to accept himself as he is..
viomsaja 0
shoulda told the kid "atleast i have someone to use it in"
Brainspoil 2
op's girlfriend is the previous poster who said her ****** was like a pringles can. sorry for the overcooked noodle op
KeyboardWarrior 10
Ugh, as I guy, I can so that although some guys do, most guys do not.