Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by one. I was last and I was the smallest. I was also the only Asian amongst my friends. They now call me "the stereotype". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my friends and I noticed that people, no matter what stereotype, pretty much all have the same type of friends: the mean one, the funny one, etc., and started naming off the people in our group who fit into those personalities. We got to the token fat one, everyone looked at me and stopped talking. FML
Today, I had to perform a skit in my class in which I have to wear tight spandex compression shorts. The class laughed pretty hard, and I felt like I had done a good job. Afterward, a girl I have a crush on said, "So the stereotype about Asian guys IS true." Through the fluorescent lights you could see my junk. FML
Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML
Today, I was at my friend's dorm eating supper. He and all his roommates are Chinese, and since I'm majoring in Chinese, I could understand what they were talking about. Too bad none of his friends knew that, and talked about banging me while I was sitting there. FML
Today, I walked in on my son and his friend comparing their penis sizes. They're 6. FML
Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML
Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my Facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one with the smallest dick I've ever seen." FML
Today, my wife and I were with friends when she said that men who like guns all have tiny penises. "Seriously, even smaller than me!" I added, and only realized what I'd said when the laughter started. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML
Today, my friend and I gave our numbers to some guys at a bar. Twenty minutes after we had left, we got a call. We excitedly answered the phone, only to hear the guy ask, "So, are you the fat one or the ugly one?" FML
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Top comments
Butterbuns 1
....Wow. YDI, for being lame enough to BE comparing dick sizes with your friends. Do you not have anything better to do?
henri_fml 0
didn't you know the size of your own dick before you entered a measuring contest?
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Comments (269)
debbtennis 0
no one cares if you moderated, and stop trying to find something to typ YDI for. wow people here are so stupid
BAMPregnant 0
well you don't know, he could have a good personality...
Mikayla82ca 0
Anyone who does this is gay. I'm a gay guy and if your looking at another guys penis for any reason other then ****... your gay dude. All of your friends are gay. Sorry man, just the way it is. No self respecting str8 guy is going to pull shit like this. I'm just saying...
JessTrek 0
So, who was the one that suggested the idea of comparing dick sizes? And how big was he? At any rate, thats weird. I've never whipped out my breasts and compared sizes with my friends'. Play video games or something.
stresspuddle 0
Breast sizes are a little more obvious though. And I do know for a fact that girls compare breast sizes, I have witnessed those conversations. =P
SAF_fml 0
it's okay that you have a millimeter Peter but it's not okay that instead of doing something with your dick, you're comparing it with your friends
Nickenator 0
This is like soo..... gay lol i know that its fake, like almost all of the fml's are. Or possibly all of them are fake.
spectre1992 0
YDI for being a gay ****** and looking at other dude's dicks
XPretz 0
Being gay or homosexual means youre atracted to other men intimately sexually or romantically, just see a penis doesn NOT make you gay, i find this kindof odd and i don't know whos bright idea this was but it doesnt make them gay. Two women seeing whose breswts are bigger doesnt make them lesbians. theres no difference.
shyles 0
I'd assume they are comparing erect penises at the time.. since non-erect is just boring. So how does a straight guy get erect when he's surrounded by penises? Gay.
blueem2 0
You and your friends should also compare how gay you are to each other. Fags.
diabetic_rage 0
shoulda read "my friends and I all realized our homosexual love for each other and decided to show our dicks" YDI, ****.
UncleverName_FYL 0
YDI for 2 reasons 1. for comparing dick sizes in the first place, unless you and your friends are gay. 2. for writing an obviously fake fml