Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave my boss a nickname. Everyone thought it was funny. Unfortunately, "The Troll" was behind me and heard everything. FML
Today, I found out that since there are 3 people with the same name as me at work, I'm known as "the ugly one". FML
Today, I saw a few old co-workers at the bar. They recognized me and started calling me by the nickname they had for me that I was unaware of. It appears I was known as "butch megan" by the entire office for 2 years. FML
Today, I called my coworker by the name of another coworker, and now he won’t speak to me. They’re both bald and roughly the same weight and height, so it’s not like I can easily tell them apart. FML
Today, I learned that my parents' nickname for my fiancé is "dickwad." FML
Today, I learned what my office nickname means. My nickname? Butterface. FML
Today, I accidentally called my cute boss "Babe." I now have to pretend it's what I call everyone, and start calling all my coworkers "Babe." FML
Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by one. I was last and I was the smallest. I was also the only Asian amongst my friends. They now call me "the stereotype". FML
Today, I realized that since I was in elementary school, my friends, my workmates, and even my family, all call me accidentally by someone else's name instead of my actual name. I'm 30 years-old. FML
Today, at work, I bumped into what looked like a small child and said, "Sorry, little man". Turns out he actually was a little person. FML
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Top comments
abluekiwi 0
Gotta admit it's a FYL, but also pretty funny.
FMLandurstoo 9
"Size doesn't matter!"
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Comments (230)
abluekiwi 0
Gotta admit it's a FYL, but also pretty funny.
kendallwendall 0
I guess your boss knows more about you than you thought.... hahahaha
TurnpikeTwister 0
When in doubt, whip it out! Jk, you don't want to lose your job in this economy unless you got another lined up. You need to show that it doesn't bother you, own it and embrace it even, then it will lose it's power and people will eventually stop calling you Little Dick. Good luck!
MrSassypants 34
Atleast he doesn't maake you into a group of two and call you "double..... " nevermind that's just nnaassttaaay.
SpeakingMyMind 0
Maybe you can get your coworker "Big Dick" to switch names with you? That is, if you do him a favor, such as 'for swallowing.'
CryMoreFMLs 15
54 - No. Just no. Nice FML reference but definately used disgustingly.
RandomBlackMan 0
Would you mind if I take a shit?
BrosefStalin 0
I bet Big Dick loves the new system.
Badshah29 6
umm, y would your parents name you dick? thats ridiculous
fmlluver1415 6
no livin in pakistan is ridiculous :p
Badshah29 6
ur saying dat cuz u've never been hea dude. i've been around, no place like pakistan
miamiheatfan56 0
90- Dick is a nickname for Steven...
whatsittuya 2
Or Rick, Richard, and someone you really don't like.
Thunderbender 2
Why don't you just go by Richard?
DoubleRainbows 1
Hello Dick. Lemme guess, your last name is Johnson.
imacreeper 3
they should have called the big one "moby dick" and you "little dick" to show the great difference between you two!
trevishere 7
You get called over the intercom, 'Little Dick.. come to my office, fast!' Walk of shame
Cokie_the_Clown 5
The OP might be small, but I bet he gets the job done! (lame pun :p)
chuckychan 8
who really cares? your names little dick and you get paid
fmlluver1415 6
hmmm kinda doubt it dude (:
mismonroe 0
Was Fat Dick taken?
maz255 10
156 wtf dude...
atthegates 0
ya....but little Richard isn't much better
chiddy_bang71 0
well that blows big dick! we just know that's not u with the large penis.
strizz18 0
was that supposed to be funny?
TylersMB 0
i dont think so
denbeste 3
#2 I hope you're not a next gen comedian...
RandomBlackMan 0
what
chiddy_bang71 0
no that wasn't a joke. I was half asleep. my bad. I'm not even sure what I meant.
ihaterats 0
haha this is not funny... but funny lmaoo
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
yeah I was reading that comment and I was like...what the ****?
fmlluver1415 6
I'm confused 0.o lol
franniedottp 8
83- ... excuses, excuses! man up and forget about it, don't re-comment.
jessie12198 0
I like ur picture
FMLandurstoo 9
"Size doesn't matter!"
hossjosh 1
yes it does, if you have a small dick and know how to use it sex is good, but if you have a huge dick and know what your doing then your amazing.
randiZ25 0
bull crap! women just say that to make guys feel better about themselves!
xo_kat_xo 0
that coming from a guy with a picture of Herbert the Pervert!
randiZ25 0
hey hossjosh I live about 60 miles west of you, craziness!
FMLandurstoo 9
You do know I was using quotes right?
denbeste 3
#3 I see your redneck alert went off also
swittig 0
The hell it doesn't! Giggity
Truth_Nazi 0
Usually people who say that need help finding their dick. Find your penis $1! Find your penis $1!
huntermc7 0
I really think you all really missed he was trying to be funny...
redshortsx 0
definitely matters... buuuut there is such a thing as too big O:
felipe87 2
anyone else find that it is weird that hoss knows so much about dick sex?
hook_em 0
I suppose they don't get the trend we are doing on here just acting like the characters
SpeshulK 0
86, you have to say "Oh no..." at the end of that for your pic
hook_em 0
92 yes I know but it was a serious comment it wasn't a oh no comment
SteelCladAngel 0
meh I dated a guy with a pretty small-ish penis but he was dynamite in bed dated a guy with a /slightly/ girthier than average tho average length and /he/ was also dynamite dated a guy with a 10" that was as big around as my wrist and...he was seriously lacking in the talent department. it's not size really....it's practice makes perfect ;)
Crlnprz 11
haha #78 xD
IronMaiden45 0
LMAO that's what I was thinking
deadpool91 0
lol I think we need more comments with family guy characters as avatars
ShyAnn29 15
111 I totally agree with you!
YacL 15
Pluto: proof that size does matter.
redneck0328 5
well ain't that a tad inconvenient?
sheethapins 13
Call me "Paw." That's what I go by now, ok Little Dick?
mismonroe 0
It's not the size of the boat, it's the motion in the ocean, but it sure takes a HELLUVA long time to get to England in a row boat.
Muffinzz11 7
153 Pluto isn't considered a planet anymore. size mattered in that occasion.
Muffinzz11 7
my bad I read it wrong hehe silly me
YacL 15
Which is exactly why I use it as an example.
YacL 15
Oh, you posted that a I was posting my comment.
Muffinzz11 7
fma ftw
ienjoithinqs 0
"say I got alittle dick, I still stick it in, it's not about the size of it it's where you get to stick it in" -TimothyDeLaGhetto
Linux_fml 0
so you can fist yourself? awesome!! everyone fails to see the humor within the quotation!
dustbunny10 0
OP, I feel ya, but whatever, just don't let it affect you, show people you don't care and it's nothing but a nickname. on a side note.. I love family guy character accounts!!
Venister 11
*you're
imosim 0
so the other employee is named big dick?
FMLandurstoo 9
No, that's my name,
hollylollyxoxo 0
yes
hook_em 0
Ohhh nooo mr Herbert what are you doing to these little kids. you are a dirty old man ooooo
bewbies 3
ur pretty smart
NastyNinja31 0
if I was "big dick" I wud make u bow and call me king kong
musicbunny 1
29- Ha. I find that very interesting. but since that is also gross, I must scream now. AAAH!AAH! AAAH!
livvyluvlaf 8
lol whats with all the family guy ppl?!
thisdue1775 0
;D
jakezanerd 0
tl;dr
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
WTF?
Crlnprz 11
haaa
miraggg 1
what are the chances of two dicks working in the same office?!
sassypants93 17
You are what you eat...
thisdue1775 0
Im a banana
iLazy 0
When I eat meat, I gain more meat on my body When I eat potatoes, I obtain it's shape. When I eat a cucumber... let's not go there
steelersfan3250 0
i love sayin that to people when they call me a pu ss y
aubrey1 0
Can you say that into the microphone?
theUBERcomment 1
Lololol aubery nice
DaM_iM_sO_nY 2
I'm you I would take it out and show it every time someone calls me that ..... I bet it would stop or maybe you will get lucky ..... it's a win win for you Tiny Dick
Siji 0
What if he really is "Little Dick"?
Truth_Nazi 0
He probably is
nerdchic 5
that will also more than likely get you fired.
dedanjel 33
Let's not forget sued for sexual harassment AND arrested for public indecency.
ihaterats 0
lmaoo that would be funny
DaM_iM_sO_nY 2
maybe he gets some pity sex
sac2000 6
it does
TylersMB 0
hahaha, thats unfortunate. lmao
alexavb15 4
ha , cutee (;
TylersMB 0
haha :P thx
tweetbaby14 18
hahaha it's called private messaging.
The_Weirdo 10
It's not your fault, it's your shoe size.
Muffinzz11 7
lol that is a myth
Livinia 11
That'd be pretty good for 'Big Dick'.
NoobHat 6
This is in vain but whatever. You're Australian. You're really pretty. Tough combo to beat. Thought you should know.
Leatherandlace 0
You look like Selena Gomez!
sac2000 6
hi