Today, my friend and I gave our numbers to some guys at a bar. Twenty minutes after we had left, we got a call. We excitedly answered the phone, only to hear the guy ask, "So, are you the fat one or the ugly one?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML
Today, I went to a club with a couple of my friends. I met a really cute guy and we were getting along pretty well. We eventually exchanged numbers. Later on I decided to call him and set up a date. The number he gave me was the Rejection Hotline number. FML
Today, I went to a bar with some buddies, and after trying to pick up a few girls, one of my friends got a number. When I heard the number, I said, "Sorry man, that's definitely the rejection hotline number." So many girls have given me that number, I've memorized it. FML
Today, I asked a cute guy for his number but instead he gave it to my gay friend. When my friend later called him, it turned out that he'd given him his number just to get rid of me and wasn't expecting him to call. FML
Today, my friends and I were walking past a bar. There were a few cute guys "rating" every girl that walked by with number cards. My friend, who is a guy, got an 8. I got a 2. FML
Today, I was talking to a friend on the phone, asking him pick me up for a cookout while his kids were yelling in the background, asking where my friend, their dad, was going. He jokingly answered them, "To pick up my ugly friend." They quickly replied with my name, out of the dozens of friends he hangs out more with. FML
Today, my friend told me that she gave my number to a guy I've liked for a while. I asked why and she just said "He's just going to have to tell you himself." I got hopeful and really nervous. A few hours later he calls. Turns out, he's called to try and get a date with my gay friend. FML
Today, I went to a coffee shop with my friend. The guy rang her up and said it was only a dollar as he winked at her $10 purchase. Then he rang me up at completely full price. She got his number and I got to be the ugly friend once again. FML
Today, someone left a note on my car, saying "You're gorgeous. Call me. #######." I called the number and they said they saw me in the store I was in, telling me "You were the ONLY attractive person in there." We decided to meet up. He walks over, I say hi, he says "I think I put my number on the wrong car." FML
Today, I saw a cute girl at a bar and decided to go and chat her up. After charming her with my usual crap for a while, I told her she was really pretty, and asked for her number. She replied, "You asshole, I met you here a year ago and gave you my number, and you never called me." FML
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Top comments
panda1o 0
well which one were you?
xlorawrz 9
That's harsh and bitchy of them, but that's what happens when you hand out your phone number to random douchebags at bars.
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Comments (86)
iEthan 5
Your probably just fugly.
AaronTkr 0
oh the fuglyness.
iEthan 5
Dont worry OP, if your fat you can work out and eat healthier and such to fix that. You just can't fix ugly. Btw face reconstruction does not look good.
Iamnotmyself 17
This happened to me once... I was the ugly moronic pro choice argument one...
Magic1 9
Don't worry! Hopefully they were just saying atupid drunk stuff. There are others out there though! :P
SesameSpeed 7
They're probably just self centered frat douches. I'm pretty sure you and your friend looked just fine. :)
eshhayz 0
once I called a girl from a bar and asked if she ate mandarins with or without the skin and she just giggled
iEthan 5
I'm guessing that your the fat one, and the ugly one was really just your beer gut. This would explain a few things.
hope540 0
you can lose weight but you cant lose ugly. u hope you' re the fat one.
EvilPotato 15
haha fugly.
aimeesea75 16
*you're As in, you're illiterate.
ktateprado 0
One of them is attracted to ugly women. The other is a chubby chaser.
leeskeeee 3
112 win
techweed 12
Duh, Winning
number0 8
It's not winning; it's EPIC winning.
loveexgirl 15
Duh, I hate charlie sheen.
Brool_Story_Co 17
Please don't use the word epic, it makes you sound like a massive tool
ifailplzinsultme 0
bi-winning
futurepharmer 6
snaps for the dumbass using what is probably the most overused phrase of the decade. and i agree, anyone that uses the word epic is a tool.
EvilPotato 15
you should then respond "are you the ugly one or the ugly one".
ktateprado 0
^ are you the metrosexual or the one with a tiny dick? Is better suited.
ifailplzinsultme 0
Damn, nobody loves me
ktateprado 0
^ I love you.
wooni0104 2
probably a prank
tsim_fml 0
probably not.
ilovecookies83 0
Op, you should have replied " I'm the one you have no chance with you freak " :)
jizzwold 21
People don't respect honesty these days.
AnagenisisZagus 13
58, not the best tough talking there as you were the same loser who gave them your number.
ktateprado 0
Probably a *****.
panda1o 0
well which one were you?
CryMoreFMLs 15
As soon as I read "gave our numbers" I hit YDI.
koolkat27 13
116- what does that have to do with replying to this comment?
creamcheese724 0
116 has herpes leave them alone...it's a sad and lonely life
xlorawrz 9
That's harsh and bitchy of them, but that's what happens when you hand out your phone number to random douchebags at bars.
hellokat1 0
Yea Op. You deserve it for expecting to meet quality guys at a bar.
DLBL 23
I disagree. I know plenty of nice people who go to bars. In fact, I met my husband of 28 years at a Biker bar on dollar night. He's wonderful.
Stealthed 8
And all they got was her and the friends number.. Clearly they're yet to discover the "Does this cloth smell like chloroform?" line yet. Results guaranteed.
Black_Letter 19
Way to be original by stealing that line from a movie. Psych
ariannaimelda 7
Twenty minutes later? Sounds like those two were desperate. Don't feel bad OP, they won't be getting laid anytime soon :)
gptrash420 0
no, they will be.. but probably by the ugly one.
at1325 0
it's has been my experience that men would prefer to **** a chick with a face so ugly it looks like a dog that just got out of a fight and smashed it's face in a pile of it's own shit then a bigger girl with a beautiful face. I don't understand it, and it's one of the reasons why I'm such a bitch
ktateprado 0
^ not all men are like that. So don't blame men for you being a bitch.
SimpleMinds_fml 7
You can put a bag over her head... I haven't heard of a bag large enough to fit the morbidaly obese women of this great nation.
itsgen 16
tell him ur the one that's too good for his nasty ass
monkeybanana 7
Nice :)
itsgen 16
thanks :)
MwahFMLS 6
*thumbs up* (:
demarcusT 0
According to the fml it's the other way around
cookies666 0
After she gave her number?
kelsey_katie 17
I agree with number 6. But, I'm sorry that that happened to you!
mine2take 5
You should say, "I am your mother." Whatta dick. -_-
OoLogicalOo 4
No, she should have replied, "Wait you want to know if I am you mother or your sister".
A7X_LoVeee 10
Mom jokes were funny in the fourth grade. C'mon.
OoLogicalOo 4
So, you're admitting they where funny. :D
A7X_LoVeee 10
Yes, emphasis on were.
Stroke_Her_Ace 15
Or chins.