Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by one. I was last and I was the smallest. I was also the only Asian amongst my friends. They now call me "the stereotype". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friends and I noticed that people, no matter what stereotype, pretty much all have the same type of friends: the mean one, the funny one, etc., and started naming off the people in our group who fit into those personalities. We got to the token fat one, everyone looked at me and stopped talking. FML
Today, I had to perform a skit in my class in which I have to wear tight spandex compression shorts. The class laughed pretty hard, and I felt like I had done a good job. Afterward, a girl I have a crush on said, "So the stereotype about Asian guys IS true." Through the fluorescent lights you could see my junk. FML
Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML
Today, I was at my friend's dorm eating supper. He and all his roommates are Chinese, and since I'm majoring in Chinese, I could understand what they were talking about. Too bad none of his friends knew that, and talked about banging me while I was sitting there. FML
Today, I walked in on my son and his friend comparing their penis sizes. They're 6. FML
Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML
Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my Facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one with the smallest dick I've ever seen." FML
Today, my wife and I were with friends when she said that men who like guns all have tiny penises. "Seriously, even smaller than me!" I added, and only realized what I'd said when the laughter started. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML
Today, my friend and I gave our numbers to some guys at a bar. Twenty minutes after we had left, we got a call. We excitedly answered the phone, only to hear the guy ask, "So, are you the fat one or the ugly one?" FML
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Top comments
Butterbuns 1
....Wow. YDI, for being lame enough to BE comparing dick sizes with your friends. Do you not have anything better to do?
henri_fml 0
didn't you know the size of your own dick before you entered a measuring contest?
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Comments (269)
israelnotjacob 20
You definitely deserved it. Anyone who's pathetic and perverted enough to want to sit in a circle comparing each others junk deserved to be humiliated.
MsMegaroo 0
HAHAHAHAHA SRRRYYY BUT ALL ASIANS DO HAV SMALL DICKS!!!
DirtySalamander 9
speaking from experience, I see.
black_heartz 0
people actually do that???
McA513M 0
only the dumb, idiotic, and possibly gay ones...
thatonekid2010 0
YDI for having a dick.
thatonekid2010 0
oh yeah and i moderated this one.
ScrewShoes 0
Lol he mush have heard of this rule: "If any group of friends spend more than a half hour without something to do, they must resort to physical expirimentation." Great rule with a bunch of ladies.
nubber 0
I like this rule =D (only with my gf though)
BAMPregnant 0
ahahah. my friends did that and then asked me to be the judge. i was like "uhhh..no..i have a bf." majorly awkward.
FabuliciousGirly 0
What is the stereotype for italians?
spacer_ 0
dick size has no impact on your ability to reproduce..
SimpleSimon 0
Too right, #28 .... they'd have to all somehow get a boner and then keep it as hard as possible while they all stood round to compare... I mean for ****'s sake! Then did they all share a ruler or did they just have to compare like for like or what?? ... **** that!
plexico 4
Oh, spacer_, you are precious! Do I need to put the "THIS IS JUST A JOKE" sign around every facetious comment? Who doesn't know that China is the world's most populous country? And India is close behind? Obviously, Asians are excellent at reproducing. And, SimpleSimon, did each guy measure himself or was there a designated handler? Yuck! Yuck! Yuck!
plexico 4
I don't get it. If you were just saying numbers and you were last, then why didn't you just lie and say you were tied with the smallest guy at that point? On the other hand, if you were whipping out your erect penises out and measuring them -- Yuck! Too gay for even gay people to like! I'm sorry Asians have such small dicks because that must make it very difficult to reproduce.
White667 0
Lol "The Stereotype" I love it.