Today, I was giving a tour on campus when one of my friends approached us and said, "Don't go here, the weed's too expensive." and walked away. Thinking he was coming back to say he's joking, he instead says, "Just kidding, it's really cheap." and walked off. I may or may not still have a job. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I arrived at the pizza place I work at to find that I'd been fired. Apparently, the class stoner came in last night and not only demanded a free pizza, but also claimed that I always gave him one. I've never talked to this kid in my life, but my boss still doesn't believe me. FML
Today, I was walking around my college campus when someone asked me if I'd gotten separated from my tour group. He didn't believe me when I said I was a student here. This happens all the time. FML
Today, my friend came over with brownies as a treat before work. She works in a bakery so I thought it was lovely. After starting work, I became stoned. She thought it was a great prank. I was fired. FML
Today, a customer handed me a 100 dollar bill. He then told me that it was my tip for doing a good job. He snatched it away just as I touched it, laughed, and said, "Just kidding." He then took his money and left the store. FML
Today, after my close friend had his baby, he told me that he was no longer going to be selling weed at his house. I was happy for him, because it's unsafe. Until I found out he was still selling at my house with the help of my roommates, without telling me. FML
Today, I got fired for failing a drug test for weed. My boss is the one who sells me weed. FML
Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML
Today, I was delivering pizzas for my summer job. I got a big order to deliver for a fellow graduate's party. While I was being paid for the order my friend shows up and says "Don't pay him, his parents are rich, he can handle it." Then they shut the door and took off. The bill was $75. FML
Today, I was getting lunch at a fast food restaurant. My boss was in front of me, and in order to get on his good side I offered to pay. Instead, I got fired because I guess my boss assumed I was making fun of his salary, which I knew nothing about. FML
Today, my coworker paid me back the $15 I let him borrow and we shook hands. Later, I was called into my boss's office, where he threatened to fire me for doing a drug deal in front of customers. The police are getting involved. FML
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Top comments
SpunkT 0
Yeah why would you be responsible for having an idiot friend? Also you could have just said something to the effect of "Don't mind him, he's an idiot" and pretend he's not your friend. And then later tell him not to bother you when you're working cause it's really rude.
24788 7
I do stupid things like this all the time to my friends. You need to lighten up and relax about it.
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Comments (91)
Vinatierri 0
Ahahahahahah! Just ask yourself if you'd rather have a lame-ass campus job or an awesome friend like that! :D ~fffiiiiiirrrrrssssssssssstttttttttt~ I go to college in the flatlands (transferring to a city-school in the fall) and it's pretty schwaggy here...
24788 7
I do stupid things like this all the time to my friends. You need to lighten up and relax about it.
mashnikandporter 0
not to sound creepy or anything... even though I do.... you are attractive.
teentee401 37
This isn't the place for shameless flirting. GTFO
Vinatierri 0
Totally joking about the schwag thing, I wouldn't know.
SpunkT 0
Yeah why would you be responsible for having an idiot friend? Also you could have just said something to the effect of "Don't mind him, he's an idiot" and pretend he's not your friend. And then later tell him not to bother you when you're working cause it's really rude.
crowdish 0
If you get fired for that, you wouldn't want to work there anyway. College kids are often dumbasses, the campus administration should know that.
Shock98 0
Hahahahaha.... your friend is awesome. And what everyone else said - I doubt they'll blame you.
hootersgirl09 0
wait..i dont get it?
youswallow 2
lmfao i just got it, like 5 minutes later >
thisismyname_fml 1
I agree about how no one would be blaming you for that. People on my campus always go out of their way to harass tours whether they know whose giving them or not. would they fire you if it had been a total stranger? if so look into transferring now, because god only knows what kind of bullshit you'll find yourself in later if that's how they run.
Tehalon 0
This would only be FML worthy if that friend said 'don't buy his weed, its to expensive'. Now its just some guy saying something that isnt related to you or your job in any way.