Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML
Today, I went to dinner with my friend and his family. I went to the men's room at the same time as his father, and as we peed next to each other in adjacent urinals the father looked over at me and said, "Don't worry, I've seen smaller." FML
Today, my penis isn't so small that I pee on my balls. It's so small that it fits between the toilet and toilet seat, causing me to pee all over the floor full stream. FML
Today, my wife and I were with friends when she said that men who like guns all have tiny penises. "Seriously, even smaller than me!" I added, and only realized what I'd said when the laughter started. FML
Today, as I got out of the shower, my young stepson saw me naked. Later, he asked his mom why my "pee pee" is so small when everyone says it is supposed to get bigger when you become an adult. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
Today, one of my dorm-mates started laughing at a bra hanging to dry in our bathroom. She thought it was hilarious that a college student would still have "such small, baby tits." It was my bra. FML
Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
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Top comments
seppi24 1
say His ex Sent you a Picture of His Penis and thats Why you laughed
Blacksxe 1
Just say you're laughing at the fact your roommate is jealous of your size.
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Comments (136)
jillianmathers12 13
Lol you deserved it! Just tell him that you got a text that made you laugh!
bnvc 0
.
bnvc 0
Golly.
alliewillie 22
This^
Lanceeden 12
Or that you saw a picture of his.
echogekko 7
I asked my girlfriend for a naughty picture and all she sent to my phone was her middle finger, that made me laugh.
stacianichole 2
Right.
Lanceeden 12
#16 cool story bro
enonymous 9
Every small penis needs love... Especially mine
aruam365 24
say to him "No, it's so big every time I see it I laugh with joy. And so does your mom!"
iBanana 17
I would have showed him my penis with his partners named signed on it.. Unless it was a guy.
gojira666 7
The "he" part kinda makes me think it was a guy.....
crazy_whitechick 6
32- I'm pretty sure he was talking bout his roommates partner...
angrymexican 8
Who texts on the can?
jillianmathers12 13
Idk its better than reading FML'S on the can!
beckybecks20 8
Wow, OP. XD
DatWhiteGuy 0
**** yeah.
flakitaa22 0
He funny thing is, I read this while on the toilet. (x
skatepunk96 0
I read fml's in the bathroom too most of the time.
krakadilian 0
**** you.
DerekBlaskie 6
Wow I now feel sry for the room mate. Ha!
SirMoose 0
Why does he deserve it?
Altosax 4
In my opinion, it was a pretty week joke, so maybe it's not all that bad for OP.
MJJ5809 9
ROFL
MJJ5809 9
Haha yeah thay was!
Miss_Blaine 18
Please stop being mean! My bfs penis is small! Who cares! I still love him :)
ChrisTheCalm 9
I'm laughing cuz that comment means his roomate had to see his penis which is very very gay. Fail.
SirMoose 0
Why is this thumbed down?
DerekBlaskie 6
I don't think you guys understood my comment above.. Let me rephrase. I now feel sry for the room mate because he basically just informed everyone he was starring at your penis.. This fml never states that the room mate explained the whole story to each person he told..
Kiirst_mt1994 26
lmao
yasmineo16 0
Aww that sucks, fyl :/
Blacksxe 1
Just say you're laughing at the fact your roommate is jealous of your size.
frozenfreeze 5
It's alright if you're small, you don't have to tell yourself it was the FML you were laughing at. If you admit the truth, you're better off.
RuCheezBurger 10
So why havent you admitted you have a tiny penis?
Jaxx66 21
Mine is so small, it's basically non-existent. So sad :(
Dudelike89 8
83-I find non-existent penises on women very attractive.
seppi24 1
say His ex Sent you a Picture of His Penis and thats Why you laughed
guckylynn 19
why Are random letters Capitalized?
ComplexChris 3
good one!
tsim_fml 0
win
seppi24 1
Auto correction, im german so...
Hockey_fan 0
Say your poop looked funny :D ...Damn I'm smooth
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Happens to the best of us ;)
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Happens to the best of us ;)
skata 4
no, because the best of us don't have hilariously small dicks
kareltje 17
LOL! That sucks for you OP, but it IS hilarious :D
sierralovesyou 0
Haha poor guy, just can't get a break can you hun?