Today, I laughed about a fold in my girlfriend's jeans that felt like she had a tiny boner. She started crying. Turns out she has a slight deformity. Oops. Explains why we've been taking it so slow. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up with a huge boner. My girlfriend saw it, rolled her eyes and said, "Not a chance." FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend when I felt her slip her hand into my pants. She then gave me a wedgie. FML
Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML
Today, at work, I had a crease in my pants. Everyone thought I had a boner. Later in the day, when I actually had one, no one could tell. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML
Today, a female friend, who I'm mildly into, was crying into my arms about how tough things have been for her. I'm so touch-starved that I got a boner as I hugged her. She noticed. FML
Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML
Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML
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Top comments
princessbloky 12
You couldn't have known. Just take it easy and try to reassure her.
ruckfules85 34
she cant be too mad if its your first time noticing. Especially if she never told you.
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Comments (135)
alexis83188 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Kinky
myGRAM 14
I don't think this post is getting enough credit for its simple and elegant pun. Well done #1
alexis83188 24
Thank you :)
ChristinePi 36
At first I didn't notice the pun. It's that simple but once you recognize it, it's amazing.
Malecent 13
At first I didn't get it. Then I looked up the word "kink".
geminijojo 10
I don't get the pun!
geminijojo 10
Ohhhh kink!! Lol I get it. Geez I'm slow tonight.
uglytwin 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Oops.
buddy_J 16
Thanks for the unnecessary echo
ColCyclone 17
Thanks for the unnecessary echo
buddy_J 16
Thanks for the unnecessary echo
tabbycat2007 22
Thanks for the unnecessary echo
princessbloky 12
You couldn't have known. Just take it easy and try to reassure her.
forabrighter 12
His girlfriend has a penis!!! Take it easy my butt
leogachi 15
@36 *Her girlfriend may have an underdeveloped penis. You may not be able to handle that, but from the understanding tone of the FML, I'm going to assume Op is okay with it.
gogo44444 28
#3 unless OP has X-Ray vision
ruckfules85 34
she cant be too mad if its your first time noticing. Especially if she never told you.
lala150 24
She's probably not mad, I imagine she'd be pretty embarrassed which is probably why she hadn't told OP yet. Don't worry OP! Just reassure her and be supportive and understanding, I'm sure once she becomes more comfortable and confident with your relationship it will be a funny memory for the two of you :)
ruckfules85 34
Thats true she was probably more upset it had to come out that way instead of when she was more comfortable.
somehappydude 11
Well is not your fault
Misskreher 30
all my jeans do that to me too and I hate it
Jackimo98 24
If all your jeans cause deformities in your crotch, you might wanna get new ones
Anti_Sora 31
It's not your fault and how could anyone have known unless she showed you which she didn't.
Steve95401 49
I hope the wait to see what's going on down there is worth it.
ThePaperDragon 31
Awh! Poor girl. Perhaps you can help her grow more comfortable with herself!
Abatu 4
it's likely nothing major but this really seems like a fantastic thing to know in the future when ready to marry her mock proposal making it seem like the deformity is why you'll marry her ftw (then hide from the flying dinner you made) later do the actual proposal ofc..vut that's less fun (I can be a dick though..and believe anything is ok regarding jokes or nothing is)
Smiles2910 18
Good for you for not freaking out