Today, my five-year-old stepson announced that he is finally no longer scared of flushing toilets. Immediately after, I discovered that he's now decided that he's scared of the bathroom sink. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I finally convinced my son to use the potty. Later, he saw a show on TV about a toilet monster. Now he's too scared to even step foot into the bathroom. Here's to another few months of diaper changes. FML
Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML
Today, my wife caught our six-year-old son peeing in the bathroom sink. He pulled his little stool up in front, that he uses to brush his teeth, and was peeing in the sink. When we asked why, he said that he wanted to pee like a man, "like we do at football games." My son is using our bathroom sink as an urinal. FML
Today, my teenage son informed me that when he’s too lazy to walk to the bathroom, he uses the kitchen sink as a toilet. I use that sink every day to wash vegetables for my family's dinner. He doesn't see a problem with this. FML
Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML
Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML
Today, my youngest daughter finally started using the toilet on her own. That is, until her older sister showed her the South Park episode where someone gets their intestines sucked out by flushing the toilet. Now she won't go anywhere near the bathroom. FML
Today, I was under the impression that my kids would eventually grow out of wanting to watch me use the bathroom. Instead, my 7 year-old son attempted to pick the lock so he could watch me take a shit and make fun of me for it. FML
Today, my shower is being renovated so I washed my hair in the kitchen sink. I put my two year-old son on the counter next to me so I could keep him close. As I was rinsing out my hair, my son started playing with the light switches. He flicked the garbage disposal by accident. FML
Today, I was summoned to the bathroom by my three-year-old, who still needs help cleaning up sometimes. When I walked in, he looked so happy and proud as he pointed to the trash can saying, "Look at my big poop!". Buying a new trash can tomorrow. FML
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Top comments
abhi95 31
He's 5.. Give him a break.. I bet the things I used to conjure up in my head were way scarier and definitely more ridiculous!
Pancakes017 19
Hand sanitizer. At least until he gets over it.
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Comments (44)
tranced_ 45
whoa just because he's your stepson, doesn't mean you have to be so paranoid!
cgart96 15
How are they paranoid?
SimplyBird 9
well better find a solution before he starts washing his hands in the toilet
Robbieisadowg 16
I was afraid of the toilet flushing too! I was afraid a monster would come out of the toilet and attack me.
worldclassrager 41
Same here bro...
perdix 31
You mean it hasn't yet? Dunh, dunh, dunh...
skyttlz 32
I have no idea why but I refused to flush until I was around 10.
cakefete2 31
One step at a time.
BadApple88 29
Put his favorite toy in the sink
bigwiensch 15
this reminds me of the family guy where stewie and Brian are afraid of the toilet
Silly_Lilly6969 23
One step at a time
cgart96 15
I used to be scared of flushing the toilet, lol. My older cousin told me that the toilet monster comes out if you aren't out of the bathroom by the time the toilet finishes flushing. Needless to say, not very much hand washing was done for about a year
worldclassrager 41
Hand sanitizer? Or he gets a reward from washing his hands in the sink...like a sticker or something...
SWC_Penguin 17
In retrospect, installing that air horn into the sink faucet's handle wasn't the best idea.