Today, my five-year-old stepson announced that he is finally no longer scared of flushing toilets. Immediately after, I discovered that he's now decided that he's scared of the bathroom sink. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally convinced my son to use the potty. Later, he saw a show on TV about a toilet monster. Now he's too scared to even step foot into the bathroom. Here's to another few months of diaper changes. FML
Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML
Today, my wife caught our six-year-old son peeing in the bathroom sink. He pulled his little stool up in front, that he uses to brush his teeth, and was peeing in the sink. When we asked why, he said that he wanted to pee like a man, "like we do at football games." My son is using our bathroom sink as an urinal. FML
Today, my teenage son informed me that when he’s too lazy to walk to the bathroom, he uses the kitchen sink as a toilet. I use that sink every day to wash vegetables for my family's dinner. He doesn't see a problem with this. FML
Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML
Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML
Today, my youngest daughter finally started using the toilet on her own. That is, until her older sister showed her the South Park episode where someone gets their intestines sucked out by flushing the toilet. Now she won't go anywhere near the bathroom. FML
Today, I was under the impression that my kids would eventually grow out of wanting to watch me use the bathroom. Instead, my 7 year-old son attempted to pick the lock so he could watch me take a shit and make fun of me for it. FML
Today, my shower is being renovated so I washed my hair in the kitchen sink. I put my two year-old son on the counter next to me so I could keep him close. As I was rinsing out my hair, my son started playing with the light switches. He flicked the garbage disposal by accident. FML
Today, I was summoned to the bathroom by my three-year-old, who still needs help cleaning up sometimes. When I walked in, he looked so happy and proud as he pointed to the trash can saying, "Look at my big poop!". Buying a new trash can tomorrow. FML
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Top comments
abhi95 31
He's 5.. Give him a break.. I bet the things I used to conjure up in my head were way scarier and definitely more ridiculous!
Pancakes017 19
Hand sanitizer. At least until he gets over it.
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Comments (44)
rachelllynne 8
sounds like a typical little boy!
1dvs_bstd 41
step by step, one after the other, he'll conquer his fears, afterall, he's only 5..
TheGreatPotato 19
Or Final Destination. He'll never go near a pool or a drain again. Actually, I doubt he'd want to be near anything at all.
KT4J 6
I used to be scared to flush the bathroom toilet because I was afraid that it would overflow and wash me away when I was a kid.
Enslaved 38
By the age of 5, I would think he'd be used to the good habit of washing his hands. Now the scary flushing toilets? Stories of sewer alligators wanting to bit my hinny made me to be a speed pee-er!
RedPillSucks 33
Did you learn to pee standing up?
splitintwo 6
Five is kinda old fir that
DSilver1988 15
My stepsons "fears" annoy the hell out of me. Hes only afraid of something to get him attention or so he doesn't have to do something.
bleedingglitter 24
This happens a lot with kids and honestly it drives me insane too. If people wouldn't coddle their children so much, they wouldn't be afraid of stupid shit or cry when they trip. It's learned behavior to get a response.
DmundZ 4
Seems like he's seeking attention
princesszelda7 8
Aww that's really cute! Help him out, he'll get over it eventually :)
beaverteaser 16
well atleast he's not scared bubble wrap. wait! or is he