Today, my five-year-old stepson announced that he is finally no longer scared of flushing toilets. Immediately after, I discovered that he's now decided that he's scared of the bathroom sink. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally convinced my son to use the potty. Later, he saw a show on TV about a toilet monster. Now he's too scared to even step foot into the bathroom. Here's to another few months of diaper changes. FML
Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML
Today, my wife caught our six-year-old son peeing in the bathroom sink. He pulled his little stool up in front, that he uses to brush his teeth, and was peeing in the sink. When we asked why, he said that he wanted to pee like a man, "like we do at football games." My son is using our bathroom sink as an urinal. FML
Today, my teenage son informed me that when he’s too lazy to walk to the bathroom, he uses the kitchen sink as a toilet. I use that sink every day to wash vegetables for my family's dinner. He doesn't see a problem with this. FML
Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML
Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML
Today, my youngest daughter finally started using the toilet on her own. That is, until her older sister showed her the South Park episode where someone gets their intestines sucked out by flushing the toilet. Now she won't go anywhere near the bathroom. FML
Today, I was under the impression that my kids would eventually grow out of wanting to watch me use the bathroom. Instead, my 7 year-old son attempted to pick the lock so he could watch me take a shit and make fun of me for it. FML
Today, my shower is being renovated so I washed my hair in the kitchen sink. I put my two year-old son on the counter next to me so I could keep him close. As I was rinsing out my hair, my son started playing with the light switches. He flicked the garbage disposal by accident. FML
Today, I was summoned to the bathroom by my three-year-old, who still needs help cleaning up sometimes. When I walked in, he looked so happy and proud as he pointed to the trash can saying, "Look at my big poop!". Buying a new trash can tomorrow. FML
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Top comments
abhi95 31
He's 5.. Give him a break.. I bet the things I used to conjure up in my head were way scarier and definitely more ridiculous!
Pancakes017 19
Hand sanitizer. At least until he gets over it.
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Comments (44)
TheComedyAudio 29
Thats a sticky situation...
\ 28
No, it's a shituation. A very convoluted shituation.
Welshite 40
Sean Connery, is that you?
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Sean Connery couldn't be bothered with commenting on fml. Sean Connery is probably banging every one of our moms right now. At the same time. Because it's Sean ******* Connery..
massinator5 4
Who could blame him, that water comes out awfully quick sometimes
mmaaccii17 7
That's crappy
Kamon97 23
Piss off...
Jamescripps 3
Haha hilarious where do you get your ideas from?
CallMeMcFeelii 14
My ideas come from an old rocking chair on my porch. She says dirty things to me when I rock on her. I rock her so hard she squeals and screeches the whole time. Sometimes I oil that ol' gal up and she's real quiet then. She's in a committed relationship with my love seat, but he's always inside so I sneak out and sit on her without him even knowing! I feel so bad about it.. But it feels so good..
Jamescripps 3
Uhm... What..?
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Hey, you asked the question, and I gave you an answer. An answer that came straight outta my heart and soul..
abhi95 31
He's 5.. Give him a break.. I bet the things I used to conjure up in my head were way scarier and definitely more ridiculous!
Javier6597 19
I can only imagine what XD
JMichael 26
The Poop Monster that comes out of the toilet and eats your poo as you're taking a dump. Got my sister with that one when we were kids. She wouldn't poop for a week.
abhi95 31
Is that even possible? For a week? Seriously?
Already_Dead 15
I had a lot of weird phobias as a kid, one of them being the toilet. Though scared of the sink is another thing.. I hope it works out for you. If it makes you feel better, I quickly grew out of my phobia phase when I was about 7. The only fear that remains is of fires, but that's another matter. Good luck Op
Bano360 25
First 2 comments shall be downvoted into oblivion. Probably mine too.
Pancakes017 19
Hand sanitizer. At least until he gets over it.
Kamon97 23
Hand sanitizer is worse it kills the protective cells on your skin too
Cupcake040 17
Till you have to deal with the public as your job you never realize how gross people really are. I used to barely get sick but now its a weekly thing.......probably has to do with I get people sneezing on their cash and I'm sure you can throw in some nasties that don't wash their paws after going to the bathroom.
MzZombicidal 36
41, hand sanitizer is better than nothing at all.
Welshite 40
Just be understanding and take it slow. He'll be splashing around in the sink in no time.
WompWompWomp123 7
Let him face his fears. Bathe him in the sink.
worldclassrager 41
That would be the kitchen sink I presume...I think he'll be a little big for the bathroom sink..and probably the kitchen sink also...
vipirius 18
Yeah, I don't think #8's comment was meant to be taken seriously.
pooldude 24
That ought to scar him for life
aimeegoldberg 22
i think you definitely got the better side of the deal. just make sure you dont take him on an airplane in the near future, as to not traumatize him further.. try the kitchen sink or the garden hose
perdix 31
Just wait until he gets scared of the fan!
Enslaved 38
"Misery" made me afraid to be anyone's #1 fan.
perdix 31
Grrr. Not that kind of fan! I fear my joke went over too many people's heads.
vipirius 18
Yeah thanks for reminding me Enslaved, it's not like I had to sleep tonight anyways 0.0
Paradoxxxx 16
Just give it some time, he'll get over. Use hand sanitizer and baby wipes for now.