Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went in for an interview. While I was waiting to be called, I used the restroom. When I stood up to wipe, I slipped on the floor and fell ass first into the unflushed toilet. I was found an hour later, covered in my own shit and too injured to move. FML
Today, I'd just finished cleaning the bathrooms at work when I saw a young boy go in. Of course, I thought nothing of it until I had to use the bathroom myself ten minutes later. The kid had taken a shit and missed the toilet completely. FML
Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML
Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my one-year old. I had no idea he could reach the lock until he opened the door and ran out. In my haste to catch him, I not only peed all over my pants that were still around my ankles, I faceplanted on the nasty, moist bathroom floor. FML
Today, I was in a public bathroom, when a little boy walked in and he had an 'accident'. He asked if I could help him clean it up, so I decided to help. I started to walk to him to assist him. That's when I walked straight into the pee and slipped. My whole back was covered in pee. FML
Today, my 3-year-old missed the toilet. In the time it took me to get paper towel to clean it up, my one-year-old decided it was the perfect puddle to play in. FML
Today, my two year-old is being potty trained. He got the gist of it and actually did #1 and #2 in the potty and after our little celebratory dance, I went to get him a cookie (which took me two seconds). I come back to see him covered in shit and pee because he tried to go empty the potty himself. FML
Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML
Today, I had just gotten out of the shower when I thought I had to fart, so I ripped it. instead, I shat all over myself and my floor. I'm 30. FML
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Top comments
Zekfen 17
How rude of him not to put up a slippery when shit sign.
Allie614032 34
Sounds like a shitty day.
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Comments (15)
Zekfen 17
How rude of him not to put up a slippery when shit sign.
Glowworm56 27
Well he went to the bathroom, he just forgot to tell you where!
Allie614032 34
Sounds like a shitty day.
RichardPencil 32
Sounds like a ... wait on it... scatalogical circumstance! Nah, not as good as the forbidden phrase!
Lobby_Bee 18
Good boy! Hes got the right idea. Oh wait, it's a human being.
cmlcmx 4
😂
LAUGHINGKOMODO 25
With kids, there is always a good side. This being, you did not raise a liar. He may have not told you the whole story, but it doesn't matter, because you didn't ask. Hopefully nothing serious happened from the fall lol
Lalala579121 28
On the bright side, the child is already learning to omit the full truth for personal gain. He will be a great businessman someday.
Donut_Wizard 23
Is there anything worse than being knocked out by a turd?
julfunky 29
Being knocked out and landing face-down in said turd.
kujiens101 24
Don’t be mad at your son. Shit happens.
zuckerburg 21
A very important lesson you can teach your son is to look where he is going. And good on him for going to the bathroom on his own. Now next time it may be on the loo (considering he probably doesn't have his own potty and it was a bit too high for him to get on himself)