Today, I moved into my new apartment. My neighbor is apparently crazy and thinks I'm trying to 'steal' her husband. She watches me and is super paranoid. I have a two year lease. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, one week after moving into my new apartment in a new city to get away from my stalker ex, I met my new neighbour. Yep, stalker ex. FML
Today, I moved into my new house. The previous occupants failed to tell me that they'd recently kicked out their crazy crackhead son, who seems to think they've paid me to pretend that they've moved out and that I'm the new owner. He wants back in. FML
Today, my fiancé and I just moved into our first apartment together. Our neighbor across the hall? My ex-boyfriend who I've had to file three separate restraining orders on. FML
Today, I signed a two-year lease on a house. My next-door neighbor said she's in love with me, threatened my girlfriend, and won't stop blasting Taylor Swift. FML
Today, I'm hiding from my creepy next-door neighbor. She constantly trash-talks my partner of two years, she's mentally unstable, looks to me for support, has a raging crush on me, and she drunkenly tried to make out with me last weekend. I'm two months older than her daughter. FML
Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML
Today, my new neighbour is delusional. She’s only lived next door 3 weeks and she’s called the police on me 11 times for “taking his bin out so he can look in my window”, “hanging out the washing so he can look in my window” and “barbecuing with his kids so he can look in my window.” Crazy bitch. FML
Today, I found out that I bought a house next door to crazy people. She asked me if I would mind not showering when her husband is at home, because he can hear me and knowing I’m naked on the other side of the wall turns him on, which is a nuisance for her. He’s unemployed. He’s always at home, the creep. FML
Today, my landlord started showing my apartment, where I have lived and paid rent for over 2 years, to prospective tenants. I didn't realize that I was moving. FML
Today, I moved into my new apartment. I was feeling really excited until my new neighbor knocked on my door and left me what looks like rabbit ears on my welcome mat. He just stared at me expectantly as though I should be thankful. FML
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Top comments
cuntfacekillah 5
well it's not your fault. I'm sure that woman is just extremely insecure.
green_eggs_and_h 0
You should pretend to be super paranoid too and watch her all the time.
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Comments (159)
lu95 16
have funnnnnn! haha
kendallhi 9
well now you have a real reason to steal her man
bubble25_fml 5
op might as well have fun with the guy since she's already paying for the crime
katieebug 0
Maybe if she sees you with a boyfriend she'll be less paranoid? Good luck... and beware, she's probably watching you... o_O
luis420 0
ILY SHELBY DUCKER 4810 :)
enonymous 9
Ghetto girls get all the men these days
katiekatie412 4
18 - She'll be even less paranoid if she sees OP with a girlfriend...
mlebethbear 0
that's stinks:( im sorry!
kendallhi 9
this would only happen in Arizona
whyXD 13
I bet OP is really sexy.
garrettsgirl 0
there is one way to make friends....
dgr8ing 0
or Texas.
schaflava 0
ghettogirl eh? I'd be worried you might steal my shit not my husband wait I'm a man
supermankisses 1
Steal and get shot. That's how we do it in Texas. :)
garrettsgirl 0
is that better for you 66?
blanquito 1
I just saw an episode of law and order that started like this
ArentICute 0
Then get a boyfriend, invite her over to supper then BAM- suspicions gone.
zendaddy0 0
get a boyfriend or convince her your lesbo
zendaddy0 0
then hit her with a mallet
GrahamAker 3
steal and get stabbed/shot by hidden weapons. That's how we roll in Florida.
Lumenoire 0
50, OP's sexiness makes her sexy parties 200x better.
stphcampos 0
omg women these days.
CryMoreFMLs 15
"These days"? Seems like a long term problem starting waybackwhen...
cuntfacekillah 5
well it's not your fault. I'm sure that woman is just extremely insecure.
goshpeople 4
Insecure, very likely, but what if her husband is really attracted to "ghetto girls", and she knows it?
OkayImSorry 0
And apparently she's a ghetto gurl for life so I don't think anythings changing soon.
00SPRANGER00 0
bitches be crazy.
Awsumuzzie 12
56, do what the first word in your user name is and try and make sense please.
1215116a 14
81, Mercy?
proxxX069069 7
lol true that trifling ghetto girls these days making there Slutty moves!
Awsumuzzie 12
88, Julie? 91, understood. Thanks for having Mercy on my brain cells.
t765234 10
You can't "do" mercy, mercy is a noun not a verb, so why don't you HAVE mercy and learn correct grammar.
1215116a 14
130, haha that's why I didn't understand it. -_-
joshuaUNWRITTEN 0
Home Sweet Home.
joooeee 3
Dome Sweet Dome
dirtyhobo95 0
31 - ftw!
richard121212 0
no, no no no. its not home sweet home
ArentICute 0
Gnome sweet gnome.
POCHY 0
Have a two year affair !!
Josh67 1
but imagine what would happen if she got caught by the crazy lady... hmmmm... not a good idea
nwill98 3
haha it would be rather bad
green_eggs_and_h 0
You should pretend to be super paranoid too and watch her all the time.
youliketacos 0
Or get some guns and clean them everytime she watches you.
t765234 10
Or get some guns and shoot at her house every time she looks at you.
green_eggs_and_h 0
131- Great idea. Try and kill your new neighbors, that'll get Op what they want. A nice quiet steel cage with 3 square meals a day...
ColtsDoug18 0
.... that sucks. sorry, nothing much to say here
Molord1 0
you could say 3way!
manzanita2121 6
9-It sucks like the girl in your pic.
yourshootingstar 4
why comment then.
ColtsDoug18 0
I was hoping someone would pick up the joke.. thanks 42!
GrahamAker 3
^^ Photo Win. but I can't see all of it on my iPod.
SuckItTrolls 7
Well she is a woman. What do you expect.
pleit3 0
bang her husband haha
mismonroe 0
Might as well give her a reason to be paranoid.
mrrudy1972 3
sexy one aren't you
proxxX069069 7
I would say soo :D agreeing with her, give her something to be paranoid about !
fionaes 3
Pthats horrible!