Today, I was driving when I saw a spider hanging from the ceiling of my car. I'm terrified of spiders, so I was watching it instead the road. When I looked back at the road, I had just enough time to swerve to miss the fire hydrant but not the tree. Even the cops laughed at me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a spider dangled an inch away from my face while I was driving. I freaked out and accidentally bumped the car in front of me. Three cops arrived on the scene and I had to explain to them what happened. I can still hear them laughing. FML
Today, a spider came down from its web in front of my face. This would have been fine and I could have killed it easily if I wasn't in my car. Driving on the highway. I cried. FML
Today, I drove my car into a fence because a spider was crawling from the mirror. The police laughed their asses off. One of them asked, "What should I write in the report? That she got scared of a spider?" Then he wrote just that. FML
Today, while driving, a spider crawled onto my gearstick. Not being afraid of them, I casually flicked it off. Onto the person sitting next to me. The person evaluating me for my driving test at the time, who happened to be arachnophobic. FML
Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML
Today, I walked into two things. The first was a spiderweb. The second, due to blind panic, was oncoming traffic. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when I noticed the huge spider above my head. Now, being the smart person I am, I sprayed the water up at it, causing it to fall. Right on my face. FML
Today, after several months desperately searching for a job and feeling pretty insecure and unimportant, I drove 15 miles to a job interview. On parking my car at the destination, I found that during my drive a spider had been making a cobweb between the car and my hair. FML
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Top comments
Ninjafriends 1
Thank goodness you made a solo crash. Even when faced with a phobia, please learn to prioritize life over fear of spiders.
Melaniee_fml 0
you are an idiot.
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Comments (102)
Melaniee_fml 0
you are an idiot.
Ronnie_loves_you 11
no you are!
Newmocheybear 5
I'll second that, Ronnie. :)
F14Shado 0
I agree with Melanie.
KVloveBC 0
Ronnie, just STFU!!
Acousticpixie14 6
I agree with Melanie. Did you ever think to, I don't know...pull over?
WarmPigBelly 4
Happened to me once, but it was a stink bug that decided to hitch a ride on the steering wheel, and i didnt crash!
Ninjafriends 1
Thank goodness you made a solo crash. Even when faced with a phobia, please learn to prioritize life over fear of spiders.
prince122 0
no screw that I would stop the car and run out screaming and crying. I hate spiders.
SmallTownCutie 0
26- me too!
chippa 24
While you're right, it's not that simple, Ninjafriends. :
Ninjafriends 1
The right things are not always simple or easy, but still necessary.
DocBastard 40
Cue the "women drivers" comments. I can't even protest this time, because this is about as egregious as it gets. People like you piss me off, because you put not only your own life in danger, but the lives of everyone around you too. I hope you had your license suspended, you irresponsible moron. Yeah, I'm pissed off today.
fayul 0
dr.house wannabe. lame.
DocBastard 40
Is that really what you think? You think that my opinion is invalid because, in your clouded and entirely erroneous perception, that opinion is similar to a fictional character on a television show that I've never seen? Your powers of deductive reasoning are indeed impressive, madam. I commend you. If you have something constructive to say, then say it. Otherwise, piss the **** off and get off my shit.
neondeath 0
I woulda done the same...and I'm a guy...gender has nothing to do with it
catnip216 0
#7 um... what? How do you get "Dr. House wannabe" from that comment? Because it's it's a medical diagnosis rife with comments on the pitiful state of humanity? Oh wait. No it's not. He's just (rightfully) irritated at people who don't have the common sense to pull over when there's something distressing them while driving. Not everyone who uses "big words" and proper sentences is imitating someone, you know.
DocBastard 40
Dammit KaySL, shut your damn pie hole! You aren't helping. *deep breath* Shit, maybe I do need some Midol. I'll take two boxes, please.
Doortje 30
Take it as a compliment Doc, House is awesome :D
fayul 0
:) ur awesome no shit
therealbmw 2
there goes doc, bitching, complaining and being a whiney pussy as usual. maybe doc should try to stop complaining on fml and write a book?
Acousticpixie14 6
Or maybe you imbeciles could recognize that Doc is complaining about something that is completely legitimate. It was luck that the driver crashed solo and did not harm anyone else. Driver should have pulled over and taken whatever action they pleased from there rather than endangering the lives of the people around him. What if because of some little eight-legged critter, he hit a car with children in it? OP definitely deserves it, maybe next time they won't be such an ass while driving!
DocBastard 40
BMW, I'm not sure exactly where you get off calling me whiny, a pussy, or both. I don't complain here at all. I call people out if they are talking stupid, but complain? Never. Being a pussy? Well, that's your own idiotic opinion and you're welcome to it. If you think for one second that you can offend me or shame me or get me to change my complaining, whiny, pussy-like ways, then you're even more stupid than your comment implies. Good day, and **** off.
Bunnyy12 0
if your going to be such a Dick. why bother getting on this if people are going to piss you off. obviously that just makes YOU an idiot!
jshaw104 1
It's the spiders fault!!! Duh! It needs to get its own car.
Llama_Face89 34
Ironically her profile claims she hates stupid people...
enoughgrace 4
ok little miss muffet, you can stop now.
Rainbow_dumpster 28
Very clever #4, very clever. ;)
Zebidee 9
LOL! Every Australian has been in this situation. The Alien movies aren't so much SciFi, as tips on how to deal with Huntsman spiders in your car. "Is this going to be a stand-up fight, sir, or another bug hunt?"
hollylollyxoxo 0
if you're that talk then why are you driving a midget car?? no one told you what ******* car to drive...
sourgirl101 29
Your comment made me want to look up "curds and whey". It's old fashion cottage cheese. Now I know.(:
DocBastard 40
Edit: comment jump. Dammit.
Zebidee 9
This is remarkably common, especially in Australia where the spiders that get into cars are the size of your hand. Still - it's incredibly important to just focus on pulling over safely. I'd rather be scared for a minute or two than dead, or accidentally kill someone innocent.
DVecc 0
**** Australia and it's giant spiders and such
louie111887 0
stupid ass woman driver. ydi. get off the road.
Me_iz_a_Bboy 0
Amateur.
key_2010 0
I hate when bugs get in my car!! The lil punks wait until you star driving to make an appearance. Happens to the best of us, next time though, just pull over and deal with it.
Imbored_fml 0
then carefully pull over. don't just continue driving with you staring at it.
daarlingdamsel 0
wow...it's a ******* spider. you should be more concerned about the approximately 2 ton piece of steel you are driving down the road with. phobia or not...the only way this would be remotely excusable is if it were a big ass and/or deadly spider, like a black widow or banana spider for instance, which it most likely was not.
RedPillSucks 33
Even if it was a venomous spider, pulling over and dealing with it is better than crashing and possibly killing yourself and other people. If the spider bites, only you risk dying. Spider bites dont kill you right away. You can actually call emergency services and get to a hospital. More people die from stupid car accidents than from spider bites.
Bernie88 0
^ Agree
sum1two 0
Yeah I have huge fear of spiders too. expect I slow down and pull over if I have to to get rid of it.. it was right next to me shoulder.