Today, I was on the subway head bobbing to my favorite track when the guy across from me gets up, punches me in the face and says, "Don't nod at my wife like that." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML
Today, a man on the subway serenaded me. That's not the issue. He was cross-eyed, making it hard for me not to laugh in his face. FML
Today, I had my headphones on while on the bus. I didn't realize how loud the music was till the woman sitting next to me punched me for changing her favorite song and then "ignoring her" when she asked me to put it back. FML
Today, on the train, a man kept grabbing my crotch. When I told him to stop, I got yelled at for harassing an elderly man. FML
Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML
Today, I went with my wife to her work picnic. Some guy I don't know slapped her on the butt. I was ready to deck the creep, but my wife giggled and said, "Oh relax, it doesn't mean a thing. He does that all the time." FML
Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML
Today, I took the subway. The man sitting across from me would not stop staring at my breasts, so when the train came to my stop, I said, "Nothing to see now, asshole." Then I noticed his white walking stick as he got up to get off. He was blind. FML
Today, I gave up my seat on the subway for an elderly man. He thanked me by grabbing my ass. FML
Today, I was on the subway, when the girl opposite me suddenly started shouting and accusing me of photographing her. I was reading a book on my phone, and I showed her the screen, but I got shoved around anyway by another guy, who threatened to report me for being a pervert. FML
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Top comments
I_EAT_KITTENS_FO 5
Punch him back. harder. then say "Don't punch me in the face like that"
MrsUresti 8
Omg!!! I hope your ok OP!!! Wth is going on with people nowadays geez!!!!
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Comments (119)
bettyboop428 24
That sucks. Hope you are ok op.
SuperDerp 8
But he didnt notice the headphones/ earbuds?
MagicallyFat 12
Posts like that make me happy I'm as big as I am. I'm not a violent person but I would have knocked that little dick bitch right on his ass
Every1luvsfmls 6
OMG is the guys fist ok?
ygdrassil 17
Your favorite "track"? As in on a CD player?
RaggleFrock 13
No, as in song on what ever he was listening to. You don't hear people saying "hey, this is my favourite digital download, care to listen?"
xlorawrz 9
...Do you want a trophy?
mcintosh123 15
A cookie maybe?
MrsUresti 8
Omg!!! I hope your ok OP!!! Wth is going on with people nowadays geez!!!!
ShroomsOnAcid 17
It's not just nowadays. The guy sounds quite insecure. It's been known to happen when not so good looking men pair up with exceptionally beautiful women, at least by their own standards and perceptions. They never feel like they're good enough for their wife, and are constantly under the impression that every other guy is out to "steal" their woman. Maybe understanding the reason behind his reaction will make you feel a little better, OP. You did not deserve that at all.
jtthegr8 26
^^ that was really long so i didn't read it
xvenom7 0
This OP thing? I heard it stands for origional poster, but that doesn't make sense?? Lol
MyLifeIsWierd 12
Yes it does the original poster is the one who made the fml
matt_mcg 2
what about it doesn't make sense?
Bladian 5
51, that poster's picture is of a weed leaf. Don't try to reason it out.
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
He must be high. Deep in thought about alternative meaing for OP. Hey, if you say it enough it it loses its meaning... What is op again?
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
Meaning*
buck33 14
47 - Of course it makes sense, you are just stupid.
IThinkItsAlright 7
47: origional doesn't make much sense either.
MyWorld2004 0
What does OP mean??
downtime 13
17, I don't see how understanding the mind of a jackass makes anything seem better. It would just tell me the douche is going to repeat the same crap over and over to other unsuspecting victims. But then that's just me...
Zoranius 6
66 You blonde guy/girl.. Read the comments before yours!
philipino 24
47- no, it stands for obvious poopstain, as said by DocBastard. Which, of course, makes it correct. Am I right?
Swiftly 0
66- Orangutan Penis
ladyLALAA 29
Original poster is the person who's FML is being commented on by everyone else. Not too hard there really..
noeoee 3
You're not serious
I_EAT_KITTENS_FO 5
Punch him back. harder. then say "Don't punch me in the face like that"
AngrehPirate 0
I think he was trying to help you get a feel to the beat.
downtime 13
I'd have gone with "THAT WAS A WOMAN?!"
shabadabba 14
Haha at 78 but that would make you look like a douche to everyone else
TehParteh 9
Maybe you should just tap your foot
reddudeover 2
*head slam "Don't tap your foot at my wife like that. Some people are just crazy, don't let the restrict your freedom.
chickenwalrus 14
you rapist
Swiftly 0
Because he totally raped someone, right?
shinshoku13 19
First, wtf is wrong with your picture and two that comment has nothing to do with this and unless nessecery should not be brought up so stfu thanks
fallingapart777 7
Did he think you were like hinting at something sexual? LMAO I don't really understand how nodding can be sexual....0.o lmao. Hope your face gets better! xD
LaurenMarie223 0
Um.. Subway. Moving. ****. Come on now.
acidfoxxx 0
U have amazing eyes!
lilpowers 3
Wtf
David199619 8
Can someone delete the first comment?
KickItHigh 32
Try closing your eyes next time so it won't look like you're looking at anyone. Some people just get overprotective...
burtonbullet 10
I don't know, personally I would like to see the punch coming.