Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after applying for a job at the local pet store, I picked up a ferret. It began licking my cheek, causing me to turn my head. It then latched onto my ear and hung like a giant furry hoop earring. I screamed, then quietly left the building. FML
Today, my brother tried to sit on my head and fart, except he followed through. It didn’t make it past his trousers but for a few brief seconds before he ran to the bathroom I could smell it and feel how warm it was. FML
Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML
Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML
Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML
Today, I saw my little brother playing with my new kitten. He is only five and isn't very gentle so I took the cat away and told him "You can't play with the cat! I don't think he likes you very much!" in a joking tone. The cat then bit and clawed my face. FML
Today, my brother tried to ninja-kick his dirty underwear up into his hand. He failed and it landed on my face. FML
Today, my brother's new kitten decided to bring me a gift as a sign of love. It was my pet hamster. FML
Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML
Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML
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Top comments
WinterPerfection 3
What if the spine wasn't flexible?!
FriskyTaco 0
he told you it had a flexible spine so you tried to kill it??
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Comments (336)
Enigmax2514 7
lol ydi idiot that was a potential murder case someone call animal abuse! :p
sueannpalma 7
can I see of ur spine is flexible ??!!! you ass hole
ascott1127 0
Is your spine flexible? no. why would you do that anyway. ydi....
ashleii2010 0
good, you shouldn't do that to animals :/
af117 3
u is so dumb, what made u think that was a good idea?
Fml70 0
Wtf man you don't bend a pet back backwards DUMBASS thank god it did that you could have killed it
gene818 13
YDI, because you never bend anything vertebrae animal's back backwards unless you intend to kill it. But it's lucky that the ferret escaped.
TheyCallmeStacey 9
why the hell would you. . . ughh dumb ppl
rodeochick754 4
this fml made me laugh but the comments had me cying they are so funny!
RayneStorm93 0
I have no idea why but I laughed super hard at this.