Today, my sister and I had a fight. In her rage, she threw piles of dirty laundry at me. One of her bloody panties hit me on the face. FML

Unpleasant

Today, my brother tried to sit on my head and fart, except he followed through. It didn’t make it past his trousers but for a few brief seconds before he ran to the bathroom I could smell it and feel how warm it was. FML

Right in the nuts

Today, I thought it would be fun and nice to pick my little brother up, but no, he accidentally kicked me in the balls. Twice. FML

Today, my baby brother learned to remove his nappy. He immediately used this new skill to shit all over my room. FML

Today, my brother got pantsed by his idiot friends. It was a surprise to everyone that he was wearing women's underwear at the time, but even more of a surprise for me that the underwear belonged to me. FML

Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML

It's called fashion Susan, look it up

Today, I thought it'd be funny to give my younger brother a wedgie. I found the thong I thought I'd lost. FML

Terrible prank

Today, while I was in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been Facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

Today, I was in the toilet when somebody started banging on the door loudly. I panicked and immediately cleaned my self and opened the door. As I opened the door, my brother vomited all over me. FML

Dude, gross!

Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML