Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after applying for a job at the local pet store, I picked up a ferret. It began licking my cheek, causing me to turn my head. It then latched onto my ear and hung like a giant furry hoop earring. I screamed, then quietly left the building. FML
Today, my brother tried to sit on my head and fart, except he followed through. It didn’t make it past his trousers but for a few brief seconds before he ran to the bathroom I could smell it and feel how warm it was. FML
Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML
Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML
Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML
Today, I saw my little brother playing with my new kitten. He is only five and isn't very gentle so I took the cat away and told him "You can't play with the cat! I don't think he likes you very much!" in a joking tone. The cat then bit and clawed my face. FML
Today, my brother tried to ninja-kick his dirty underwear up into his hand. He failed and it landed on my face. FML
Today, my brother's new kitten decided to bring me a gift as a sign of love. It was my pet hamster. FML
Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML
Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML
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Top comments
WinterPerfection 3
What if the spine wasn't flexible?!
FriskyTaco 0
he told you it had a flexible spine so you tried to kill it??
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Comments (336)
EmoScreamer1717 0
hahahaha
Sam_13161821 0
I have two ferrets & I can bend them backwards with no problem. Your brother's ferret just hates you.
wat11115 0
lol@retards down thumbing, how would you be able to bend over if your spine wasn't flexible
Penn2894 6
...At least you didn't hurt it or kill it? I suggest you don't mess around with animals like that if you don't know what you're doing.
AnynomousPerson 0
You belived him?!?! YDI. Bitch.
why_me92 0
you asshole! why the hell would you do that to an animal in the first place? im sure you would fart and get pissed off too if someone tried to bend your back the wrong way
pixelebrate 0
Derp Derp... Btw people can bend backwards??? acrobatics and gymnasts no?
cheerchicka8899 0
youre so mean!!! what an asshole!
justbigbs 6
ahhh it farted at you, thanks for putting a smile on my face today
pantuchi 0
lmao, funniest thing ever not the fact u bent a ferret spine DERMIS! but that it farted and clawed you. I have a ferret and if you were to bend my "misschief" not only would she fart and claw your face, she'd bite your nipples off too! have you seen their teeth genius?