Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
Today, I found out my roommate had mistaken my toothbrush for his dog's. So for the last month he's been using my toothbrush on his dog. The dog's favorite meal? Fresh cat poop. FML
Today, I changed my toothbrush because the bristles were wearing down. My brother later asked me why I changed his toothbrush. Apparently we've been sharing the same one for the past several weeks. FML
Today, I found out my sister scratches her butt with my toothbrush every time she is mad with me. FML
Today, I found out my whole family has been mistakenly using the same toothbrush for over a month. FML
Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML
Today, after a fight, I caught my sister rubbing my toothbrush on the inside of our grimy toilet. This is why I have trust issues. FML
Today, while I was brushing my teeth, my 5 year old-son walked into the bathroom. He gave me a mean look and said, "That's Sammy's toothbrush, not yours." I've been brushing my teeth with the dog's toothbrush for two months now. FML
Today, my brother came out of the shower and sat with my mom and me on the couch. He then says he liked the idea of the extra toothbrush in the shower, it helps him clean between his toes. I have been using that to brush my teeth for the last two weeks. FML
Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML
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Top comments
iLucero 11
How can you not taste that?
trolodon 2
Dafuq did I just read
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Comments (123)
iLucero 11
How can you not taste that?
HSOMGF 5
This.
GothicAngel17 24
Maybe dog poop tastes like mint? Okay, okay that was lame, I know.
KrazieKleo 13
OP is used to eating shit so she couldn't tell the difference...
Thelnternet 7
he is used to the taste of shit
beccaishereyay 11
How could you not see, smell, OR taste it?
Penguin1942 0
Or hear it for that mattsr
Penguin1942 0
*matter
Donat96 20
Is your brother's first name Joffrey by any chance?
elsnappypickle 0
55, good one!! ;)
iLucero 11
55. Nope
Marcella1016 32
Slogan for the new Colgate Total: So minty fresh, it'll mask the taste of dog shit!
Calyx_fml 22
My dog eats his own poop. Maybe it's yummy.
tjv3 10
How could you not tell?
konkoush 7
Maybe she liked that flavor
trolodon 2
Dafuq did I just read
reddudeover 2
An FML. FML's are short usually funny, sometimes disgusting, or sad anecdotal stories of things that go awry in people lives. FML is also an acronym for **** MY LIFE.
thejewishfuhrer 17
^^^Mr. Buzz Killington
reddudeover 2
(Buzz killington's voice) Yeeeeeeeeeessss, jolly good ribbing old chap.
syki 22
You didn't notice the smell?
syki 22
Ugh, I just realised - how dingy must your brush be if you didn't notice *on sight?*
yuzuhere 21
Don't mess with one's Hot Wheels! Some serious stuff going on there.
Isoldael 27
Maybe the brother washed off most of it before putting it back, so OP wouldn't notice. Still pretty disgusting in my opinion, even if you don't see / smell / taste it.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
That's how his breath usually smells. Unfortunately, I know people who have that problem.
False_Stupidity 42
What if he only rubbed it lightly on the shit enough to get it all germy but not enough to make it smell or look bad.
livamour 17
You really didn't notice? :s dog poo has quite the scent.
zuzupetalsYO 11
What the hell do you brush your teeth with not to even notice the dog shit color? Although I have seen white dog poop. You better take that dog to the vet.
sarahlouise0506 10
Brothers always get their revenge!
SecretMe00 5
5 is that your dog? If so, what is she/he? Like breed wise.
tmmundy 17
#41....I totally agree. I hate to wonder what he will do if something more serious happens, what he is capable of doing.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
So. Many. Puppy. Pictures. *explodes from cuteness overload*
sarahlouise0506 10
It's actually my brothers dog! And it's a Labrador.
mazio09210517 5
how could you not smell or I taste that? I mean really?
draegbomb 5
Really
redfishbluefish2 13
And he bothered to wash it out too? Otherwise I hope you would have noticed the color. Or the smell, or taste. YDI
amak1228 3
You never noticed?? Gross...
coldashell 23
Perhaps op does not use toothpaste.
Goatinsfriend 8
Time for a new toothbrush.
yahoowizard 16
And a new brother. Ask your parents to hook you up
SqueakyChipmunk 22
And a new brother. Throw the old one in the trash, he's broken.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Damn. *goes back to her tree*
Enslaved 38
You had a whole month to replace that broken toy but your brother still has issues.