Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after applying for a job at the local pet store, I picked up a ferret. It began licking my cheek, causing me to turn my head. It then latched onto my ear and hung like a giant furry hoop earring. I screamed, then quietly left the building. FML
Today, my brother tried to sit on my head and fart, except he followed through. It didn’t make it past his trousers but for a few brief seconds before he ran to the bathroom I could smell it and feel how warm it was. FML
Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML
Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML
Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML
Today, I saw my little brother playing with my new kitten. He is only five and isn't very gentle so I took the cat away and told him "You can't play with the cat! I don't think he likes you very much!" in a joking tone. The cat then bit and clawed my face. FML
Today, my brother tried to ninja-kick his dirty underwear up into his hand. He failed and it landed on my face. FML
Today, my brother's new kitten decided to bring me a gift as a sign of love. It was my pet hamster. FML
Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML
Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML
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Top comments
WinterPerfection 3
What if the spine wasn't flexible?!
FriskyTaco 0
he told you it had a flexible spine so you tried to kill it??
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Comments (336)
LilaBear 2
All animals have a flexible spine to some description, how do you think you can bend forwards?? It doesn't mean it bends in all directions as much as you like! Idiot. What did you think it was, a toy?? You're lucky you didn't kill it. Shall we try bending your flexible spine backwards?
lovinyou 0
lmfao
Thrasher91 0
wow, you're a ******* idiot. YDI
dantheman1988 0
laughed out loud, made my night
hazardoussmiles9 22
Am I the only one who's wondering how the brother found that out...?
wilesmoods1 0
Spank the ferret.
9ghost4 4
your a jerk to animals ydi
dirtyrussian97 0
you're an idiot I have no sympathy for you
danica45 7
animal cruelty maybe?
Bobose 0
I'm supposed to feel bad for you when animals fight back when you do things they don't enjoy? Get someone to bend your spine backwards and see how you react. =)