Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making breakfast. I thought he was making it for me, so I sat at the table. When he walked over with his plate, he said, "Oh, I didn't know you were here!" I'd slept in the same bed with him last night. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making the bed, at 2 AM. And he wasn't so much making the bed as he was holding a pillow while lost in thought, looking at me. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was going to give me breakfast in bed before he left. He walked over, threw some granola bars on the bed next to me and left. FML
Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML
Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML
Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment to surprise him with breakfast only to find that his other girlfriend had beat me to it. FML
Today, I discovered that I sometimes talk in my sleep. After spending an amazing, perfectly romantic night with my boyfriend, I woke up to him telling me to leave. I have no idea what I could have said. He still won't talk to me. FML
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Top comments
zetteymonsterxo 0
maybe he meant he didnt know you were in the kitchen with him?
sallen0046 4
Why would you assume he was making breakfast for you when there was only one plate? Next time, open your mouth and say hello before sitting down to be fed as though he were your servant.
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Comments (111)
zem5 0
lol ai am gaigantik doosher plz vote meh dwn i liek corn hawhaw
zem5 0
**** you for editing my comment asshole!!
KingDingALing 9
Tell him to suck you off.
korn247 5
bc you weren't suppose to spend the night...DUH!!
dreamering 16
Zem, don't smoke too much.
TyronetheOG 0
14 Nobody laughed. now somebody is gonna say "i laughed" or "i thought it was funny" just to troll me
mcxhunni 0
...and that wouldnt be gangsta.
TyronetheOG 0
hell naw it wouldn't
pippymiskers 4
i thought it was funny
mayumm 0
I moderated this! (:
Elixa 0
That's sad that spinning in a chair is your version of a "little fun". Fun is working your way up the corporate ladder, and after that incident, the only way your going to do that, is to walk in to your bosses office say you've been a very bad girl or boy and need a spanking.
babelini 12
#80, it's sad that u completely mixed up the FMLs.
Elixa 0
good one 83, very mature of you... good one.
babelini 12
u know it.
Elixa 0
I was being sarcastic you pig nosed *****.
babelini 12
same here. if u can dish sarcasm i thought u could see it coming? lol. why are u so mad at me? u said its sad for the previous OP his idea of fun is spinning in a chair and i'm just saying it like u said it, its sad u mixed up the FML. i mean, seriously, chill. u know u posted the same comment at the next FML post too right?
knibbsy 4
Guys stop. We are replying to comment #1. Therefore, we must talk about corn. Corn is good. Corn on the cob is better. Canned corn is worse. Cornholio is the best of them all.
Elixa 0
ok so I guess there was just a miscommunication on both of our parts then. Sorry I insulted you, and no I was unaware that I had mistaking posted it to another fml as well, which one is it?
Mauskau 36
What is cornholio :o (from the UK, don't hate)
SecureReflex 0
Woah, hey now 14, what's with all the Texas hating? Totally uncalled for. Texas is actually a pretty good state, and no we aren't a bunch of southern hicks, I attend a high school in Texas that is in the top 75 in the US. Though that may not mean much to you Brits...
machiko_fml 0
maybe you're not worth remembering.
iampunk 0
Right.
KaleidoscopePope 0
good point.
TheNinjaBuffalo 0
true
xsam4296x 0
maybe he ment he didn't know she was at the table. and why would you think that because he was making food, it was for you?haha
chloec16 0
maybe she shouldve made him a sandwich
buddy1660 3
that's a keeper
zetteymonsterxo 0
maybe he meant he didnt know you were in the kitchen with him?
ohthebloodygore 16
Better question: Why wouldn't she be in the kitchen?
Seddah 3
My thoughts exactly. High five!
1990TD 6
yup yup!
sweet_candy_ 17
It's okay op he probably has bad memory.
ohthebloodygore 16
Or... she wasn't worth remembering.
anorexicbarbie 8
At least he's not cheating.
uwishucouldfyl 0
you birthday is three days be for min same year mine is 10/31 and yours is on my parent aniverery I was born three days after the wedding
xStiina 0
he's so sweet... ==
lgs25 0
he is cuz he can make bfast for you if he only remembered you
Hgielad_720 0
FTW. :D
bigbadtim 7
He probably thought that you were still sleeping.
imcutefml 0
or have memory loss
sourgirl101 29
I do love a guy that knows how to cook. It's a plus if they also made their bed. If he did, he'd found you sleeping there.
smr167 6
there's Saddam! right next to you! zing!
Selena_is_back 7
hi sourgirl!! (remember me?)
sourgirl101 29
Where have you been girlie? Taken a break from FML?(: and 27 it's always the ones with no picture that talk the most smack. That joke was funny the first 20 times I've heard it. Don't forget that my husband also looks like Dragon Ball Z's- Mr. (Hercule) Satan.
Selena_is_back 7
nope... I was "thrown out" get it?? :( but I'm here again!!