Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina is "as clean as a dog's mouth." I'm not sure if that supposed to be a compliment or not. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was teasing my boyfriend telling him that my butt was so much cuter than his and that at least mine wasn't smelly stinky or hairy. Then he said yeah, I just wish that your vag was the same way. FML
Today my boyfriend told me that dirty talk with me was like potty training a puppy. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina looks like an old man in a hat. It's OK though, he said it was a nice hat. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that my vagina looks like Yoda. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that I don't have a "grippy vagina" after he slipped out for the third time. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, my husband told me I was lucky to have someone who would love me no matter what my vagina smelled like. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that my vagina reminds him of ham. But that's okay, because ham is his favorite food. FML
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Top comments
mattc1213 12
Who knows these days!
StickyPickles 33
A dog's mouth is full of bacteria just like any other damp wet space. . Google it
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Comments (122)
Brandon1000 10
So romantic!
heavenlyassbutt 11
Lol it is certainly not!
gypsygurl 8
Awkward!
BrassWing13 11
It's a compliment, dogs mouths are much cleaner than humans
sirrubberduckie 37
That's a myth.
FalloutScrolls 25
Truly your boyfriend has a way with analogies. A cunning linguist, that one.
worldclassrager 41
It's healthier than a humans mouth...so you might can't to clean it a bit after I am assuming he oraled you...
sirrubberduckie 37
Nope. That's a myth. Look it up.
TheNiceOne 20
Fun fact: Dogs mouths are cleaner than human's mouths. Source: Vet. And Google.
Thorzix 23
It's an urban myth and has been proved wrong.
xenawpwa 4
That's a terrible analogy!! Would he like to "eat" a dog's mouth....ok now that's gross. However, if he's a dog lover, I suppose that's a compliment??? Just a terrible one in my opinion!
kaylabunny1999 22
Complement dogs mouths are very clean and vaginas clean themselves
SookyLala 13
yeah but you gotta help it along though lol, theres some stank vaginas out there.
FamilyAngel 4
Probably, he meant, like,... You now, dogs clean things by, you now,... F that. Break up with him, allready.