Today, my boyfriend told me that I don't have a "grippy vagina" after he slipped out for the third time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like having sex with me, because I get too wet and it makes him go limp. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML
Today, I had to explain in great detail why it is inappropriate for my boyfriend to grab at my vagina in public. He did it again twenty minutes later. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML
Today, my boyfriend of over one and a half years told me he won't give me a hand job because "it's awfully wet down there," and he isn't "a fan of other people's bodily fluids." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was horny. Since it has been a while, I offered to help. He sighed and complained that he didn't feel attractive and didn't want sex. I laughed and asked if he grew a vagina overnight. He got mad and stomped off. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that my vagina looks like Yoda. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was moving his hand from his thigh to my chest but on the way he sort of squeezed my stomach. When I asked him why he did that, he told me that "his fingers got stuck under my roll." FML
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
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Top comments
mylonius 19
Was he expecting a hand to appear down there?
almost_there44 26
Tell your boyfriend that he has a very small dick after he slips out for the fourth time.
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Comments (122)
mylonius 19
Was he expecting a hand to appear down there?
joeyl1990 28
I can't unimagine this.
Arkham_Callabero 15
That'd be so terrifying
MummyRavyne 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Ouch. What an ass! Better get him sleeping on the couch.
PainInTheAsss 16
Cliche white mother of 5
almost_there44 26
Tell your boyfriend that he has a very small dick after he slips out for the fourth time.
brenton490 19
Did you tell him " Better hope the couch is grippy cause your sleeping on it".
Driving_Gaming 22
did anyone ever tell you your grammar sucks?
BrotherPhil 35
What does she suck, eggs or lemons? May you could teach her how to do it.
wanted_2_want 40
Probably he is used to some other types of vaginas? The ones that exist only in his head
77chris11 5
in his hand*
devilgotmywoman 6
*made of silicone.
Katrinnaw 19
Its not you it's due to the... ahem size of his legacy.
9a_z1 11
What does he expect you to do about it? Shove some velcro up there next time?
askullnamedbilly 33
...Was he expecting your ****** to be ribbed for his pleasure or something?
Welshite 40
You aren't supposed to give a ****** a handshake.
pjsr 33
Kegels!
Thegoofygoober 15
the amount of down votes for good advice is barbaric
SilverSet 16
Haven't you heard? Women can do no wrong, even pedophilia and rape are fine if women do it! And now for the down votes.