Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like cuddling in bed because he hates rebreathing his own carbon dioxide. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Thrashing
Today, I asked my boyfriend why he never wants to sleepover anymore. He said he loves me, but that sleeping next to me is like sleeping next to someone reenacting the crucifixion while being mauled to death by squirrels. So much for cuddling through the night. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I realize that my boyfriend's breath quite literally smells like a sewer. It wouldn't be so bad, except that he tries to kiss me about every ten minutes, and I have to hold my breath. FML
Class act
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Today, I had an asthma attack while in bed with my boyfriend. He interrupted my desperate coughing only to tell me to shut up. He then rolled over to go back to sleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he hasn't showered in over a week, because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML
Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Who are these people ?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that he hasn't showered in over a week because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML
Top comments
xx000o 27
Inform him that the couch is a CO2 free zone.
TrippingOnAcid 29
Have him be little spoon
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (56)
XBurytheCastleX 25
I am the same way. I can't inhale any air that has been used. It's not fun, and is a legitimate excuse.
olillia 16
Actually that's a legitimate thing more than likely. I do the exact same thing. It's not my breath or theirs. It's just knowing I'm breathing in air that has been in someone's lungs. Don't take it personally!!!
Krwman 8
Headcase---
idk_ineverdo 3
I agree with that
Tannasgh 22
That's the stupidest thing I've heard today
mo3zz 13
As much as you might not like it... It is the truth for most people!
j_inks23 19
I don't like doing that shit either, it's hot & weird. I let my bf be the little spoon & since he's much bigger than I it's jet packing lol
Bob_Gray 6
I'm actually the same way. I always wind up awkwardly adjusting my head so i can get fresh air. Its quite uncomfortable.
leogachi 15
@47 Or she can sleep on the couch if she has that much of a problem with it.
GeorgiaBea 28
I totally get this. If I am facing in, I feel like I can't breathe.