Today, I spent way too long baby-talking my neighbor’s dog through the fence, calling him "the cutest, sweetest baby." It turned out that my neighbor was sitting on the other side of the fence the entire time, out of view, quietly giggling at me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was screaming at my neighbor to shut his dog up. After 30 minutes of bellowing, he yelled back that it was my dog that was barking. He was right. FML
Today, I was out walking my dog, when a lady called out to me asking, “Is that a boy or a girl?” Assuming she meant the dog, I told her that he was a boy. When I turned away, I heard her say to her kid, “I was talking about the person walking the dog, but whatever,” then audibly laughing. FML
Today, I put my 5 month-old daughter in her swinging chair and walked into the kitchen to make her a bottle. When I came back, she was giggling because the dog was licking her face. It would have been cute, picture worthy even, if I actually had a dog. FML
Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML
Today, a cute stranger waved at me on the street. I waved back enthusiastically, smiling like an idiot. Then I realized she was waving at her dog behind me. I then turned around and waved at the dog, then scurried home to bury my embarrassment in a pillow on my couch. FML
Today, while studying for an exam, the neighbor's chihuahua started barking outside. After a few seconds, my mom yelled out for me to stop laughing. She honestly thought the barking was my laughter. FML
Today, I was trying to fall asleep. Unfortunately, my next-door neighbor's baby began to cry. I closed the window and rolled over, unable to hear the crying anymore. My dog's hearing is better than mine, and so he started barking. Goodbye, good night's sleep. FML
Today, I tried to bond with my baby nephew by making funny faces at him. He stared at me like I was the most confusing creature he had ever seen, then burst into tears so loud it scared the dog. FML
Today, I went over to my neighbours' to politely complain about their dog, who had been barking non-stop for hours. This issue has been going on for months, and I finally decided today, of all days, was the day to resolve it. When I got there, they'd just got home from giving birth at the hospital. FML
Today, I invited the guy I've been seeing to my home for the first time. He spent over an hour talking to my twelve-year-old dog. Occasionally he would look up to ask me a question, but when I answered he would just continue talking to the dog. FML
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Top comments
smoochmysnoot 6
I gotta tell ya, if I were your neighbor and you were being sweet and cute toward my dog, I would think quite highly of you.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
You didn't do anything wrong. If he thinks it's funny that you're paying attention to his dog, who cares? The dog I'm certainly appreciated it.
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Comments (3)
smoochmysnoot 6
I gotta tell ya, if I were your neighbor and you were being sweet and cute toward my dog, I would think quite highly of you.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
You didn't do anything wrong. If he thinks it's funny that you're paying attention to his dog, who cares? The dog I'm certainly appreciated it.
GoogieWithers 25
I always think highly of anyone who treats animals well.