Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML
Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML
Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML
Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
We_Li_Ve_Fr_Ee 0
Boyfriend Win, simply put.
okieraider71 4
All that evil needs to win the day is for men of good character to do nothing. All hail the great penis.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (387)
We_Li_Ve_Fr_Ee 0
Boyfriend Win, simply put.
theking12369 0
yup he's just having fun
michabailey 8
I agree.
ShatteredDreams8 0
lol he is epic like only afatamonkey can be
hilda_kitty 16
this is simply epic... =D
You_Just_Failed 0
i hope he's got both his ally cause if not he might lose...;)
vaginawhisperer 0
fu&$ing awesome simply put
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Om nom nom nom
goingdown_fml 0
wow he's a keeper
Blink182ftw 0
your boyfriend is hilarious
Ashleigh255 0
hahaha your boyfriend is awesome!
comatoast 0
good job bf. now neither one of them will stop talking
LittleMagicWolf 7
LOL
anaisnin 0
OP get a sence of humor.
MrCalves 1
...so who won the war?
snagglepaste 0
I hope the ****** hasn't been talking to Oprah's midge! He's scary!
Drummer389000 0
hahahahaha I agree! :D
Mauskau 36
sounds like something my bf would do. I'd find it hilarious.
bricksta_op 0
lol win. this isn't even an fml. gj op you have downs
Blue_Coconuts 7
I think it would be a mood killer....
TheGuyPersonDude 0
that's ******* awesome haha
Monikabug 9
@Colin: I agree entirely!
NatDancer2010 0
hahahaha well on the brightside he's creative?
AquaSky 1
This guy needs to find the girl who played with her guy's tool like a lightsaber.
autumn16 0
ha this would be amazing haha
SilenNex 0
hilarious
muaythaifighter 2
Random of me but are you a wrestler?
imaginaryvoice 18
Well I don't see an FML here, unless the "great penis" wants to be the one conquering other "great penises"
tmcnatt2012 0
lol your boyfriend has the gift of crafting epic wins js
imaginaryvoice 18
99, if you expect people flaming you for this, then your expecting attention, attention *****. ^^
AnAngryGorrilla 0
101, You're dumb for giving him attention...and so am I kinda...
crazyaces89 7
yeah but slightly funny at the same time
epicenur 2
enemy nuke incoming!
TokioxxHotel 0
hahaha. that's awesome!
YevKassem 0
agree with 107 if this is an FML you have no sense of humor
TheDeadWhoWalks 0
Haha This Nigga "Care Package Waiting Gor Directions"
rudiznell 0
that's not an FML... that's a total WIN
chenga001 0
I want to shake this guys hand. bf win!
Clare420 0
haha! I hate all the FMLs that are people just being funny. your boyfriend is funny and is nice enough to eat you out.
naynayyy 0
hahaha 66 south park reference ftw
Foxfire15 15
Oh, def a mood killer. Still funny as hell though.
ThatBustaNate 0
high five #101
Ucla_cupcake 0
Yup. I agree with 1.
knibbsy 4
Blue_Coconuts and Monikabug, you're kidding me, right?! This such an epic win. I figured that any person who has at least an ounce of humour in them will not let this ruin sex. Hell, the type of girls I go for would say "the war is on! bring it, penis!"
36jg63 0
lol
Claay_aiir 0
hahahha!! winn! your bf is halarious xD
Pagliaccio 1
117, where's that other pic I asked you about?
hooah33 0
it's like if Oregon state played south Carolina, "despite an early surge, the beavers outlasted the cocks"
iRawrrrx33 0
I love how people try to relate things to their life. it's not about you stop being desperate.
austin_DGAF 0
173-and you're complaining about people who type what they want. why does it bother you what they write? are you that ******* miserable that you have to find something, that's not even a problem and bitch about it? ******* bitch.
legonut4 0
not even that bad
Chrissy44 0
too funny
polski_girl 0
I agree with number 1, OPs bf sounds funny, but it's not the biggest turn on for OP to be fair !
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
173: I don't even understand which comment you're referring to.
iRawrrrx33 0
177- hey guess what? I wasn't talking to you. and it's stupid because they try to get attention by changing it into something about them.
iRawrrrx33 0
203- oh I was refering to 75, I think. I've just seen a lot of people change the fml into something about them.
californiakaty 1
at least he goes down on you. not many guys do that. be greatful. and would it kill you to play along?
austin_DGAF 0
oh shit sorry I didn't see that. that is kind of annoying.
parrish11 0
epic win
youngrob 0
rawr.. then don't read the comments then u nosey ass bitch mind your own buisness.
kyarush 10
lmao! WIN
baderier 6
lmfao!!! epic win
michael888 0
so r u #52 ur beautiful
validus 0
lol
HeatherXCore 0
and this has happened to me too -_-
parte_perdiz 0
bwahaaahaha @85 that would be epic
Sexyshmeagletron 0
Winnn!
Monikabug 9
@150, nope. definitely NOT kidding. It's not about having a sense of humor, 'cause Colin and I both have one. But seriously, right in the middle of being eaten out and he starts making her ****** talk? Try going from feeling intense pleasure, to having your labia being used as a puppet. And for the record? We never said it wasn't funny. We just said it'd be a mood killer.
the_pan1c 5
i totally did something like this :P
SqueakyPanther 0
no kidding. I'd laugh so hard if he did that.
shinybluedollar 3
Ha ha ha! I Totally agree. This is an FYL. FYL OP, you don't know how to appreciate a fantastic boyfriend with a sense of humor that goes down on you.
thatonek1d 0
vag beats dick. always
MauriceWinifred 0
You suck ass! Your boyfriend is awesome!
Flipp1 1
mangina?
aussie827 0
blues!!!
kiss_of_death 0
give ur bf a high-five for me XD
imagineapc 11
Yay for people who know how to take a joke and roll with it! I would be thoroughly amused if my husband did that to me.
iRawrrrx33 0
212- hypocrite.
xXLenaXx 0
that would make me laugh so much, i'd give my bf a nice reward :) or get him back by squirting his "cannon" mid-war into his face :D
Liv94 2
Get a SENSE of spelling
ShalynStar 0
get a life. Seriously, he was just playing.
USAF_RescueMike 0
hahah wow thats awesome i pretty much did the same thing to my wife haha
wbz_smdplz 0
52 you should give me a nice *******
gus3222 7
hah, not many people remember that episode
TBird18 0
exactly what I was thinking
freddyisepic 2
ballz to u
coltonhaskin 0
That's Funny Shit Right There
vballerlover07 0
Ohh. Fun role playing games! Lol. FYL OP.
hippo23 0
hahaha he's funny :)
bonicr 0
I bet it was a total mood killer but come on, that's humor anyone can appreciate!
courtneyjadee 0
hagahaga he is pretty funny
xXLenaXx 0
this is an EPIC WIN. OP, you should have sex with him until the moment that he comes, then get off him and just as he's coming, shout "the talking ****** has sensed danger and moved out of the way of the firing cannon!" just as he starts spurting. that'd make it more epic, AND get him back. :P
LilAfo 4
u did this before love? :D
Herropreez17 0
Hope there is no biological warfare involved if you know what I mean...
RebelBacker 0
lmao that's great
FuckMyLife195 0
sex shouldn't be so seriouse so he tried to be funny lol.
jonjon1217 0
is that really an FML?
emmaa3451 11
LOL. I love OP's screen name. That is so embarrassing though!
griddy24 18
That’s a hell of a turnoff when you were previously just enjoying some good head!
banna2286 0
that's funnny
brookeec 0
omg hahahahahah thats freaking hilarious!!!
Jenny_genie 3
so you hate foreplay fyl OP XD
polski_girl 0
you call that foreplay? FYGFL!
griddy24 18
I think the bf hates foreplay...
tortise34 4
I'm from NSW 2. also be grateful for his imagination
stewpididiot 11
Wow!! I'll bet he has epic swordfights with his boyfriends !!!
lukemc1 0
Haha that shit is dirty Gay lightsaber battle!!
ksharp 0
epic indeed