Today, my boyfriend confided to me that he has a used condom collection. When I reacted with disgust, he "reassured" me that he only keeps the ones he uses with me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML
Today, I opened my boyfriend's bedside table drawer. There was a condom wrapper in there. We don't use condoms. He claims he didn’t have sex with anybody, he just wanted to put the condom over his hand. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted to me that the reason he won't have sex with me is because "Condoms are too expensive." FML
Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML
Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML
Today, I was going to have my first overnight with the guy I’ve been seeing. Upon learning I'd packed my own condoms, he told me it was vulgar, unladylike, and suspicious that I had them. When I pointed out that he had condoms, he said, “Well yeah I’m a guy. I’m supposed to have those.” FML
Today, I had to explain to my husband why saving the condom from the first time we had sex is not romantic. FML
Today, I found a used condom in my bed. I haven't had sex in months and now I'm terrified. FML
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
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Top comments
kristina_woof 6
Because that makes it so much better... Your boyfriend is an idiot. Sorry OP!
IOmnomHard 10
Hey, don't judge...I mean, some people collect stamps... This is much more interesting.
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Comments (114)
SataN201 0
winner! sick MF
howrudoin 11
Where ever he keeps them it must smell like some rotten semen lol.
Needafarm 22
Not if he ties them at the end of use. My fiance use to just thrown them out with stuff in them without tying them and always said it smelled terrible on his side of the bed after a week. I started tying them and he never complained about the smell because there was none. Sometimes common sense would go a long way
howrudoin 11
35- most people won't be bothered to tie ends of the condom. this has nothing to do with common sense and more of the simple fact that a used condom with semen residue in it stinks.
sophie22_fml 8
35- is this some kind of joke? That's disgusting so instead of just throwing them in the trash, you just keep them in the room for a week or more?
spiceywolfe 2
Hmmm... Definitely an interesting choice for a collection.
Needafarm 22
I don't like the habit, but i think it makes sense. My mother once knew a woman who use to keep the used condoms of the businessmen she would sleep with. Then one of her friends professed her need for a child, but had no donor so her friend volunteered several of the used condoms she had from the wealthy businessman. The man found out later that the woman who he was paying for sex was keeping his sperm and that he had a child with a woman he never met or had sex with. He ended up paying child support years later but learned a lesson. Keep his own damn used condoms! So what i am saying here is that your boyfriend might be trying to make sure he keeps his little guys under wraps.
JDM_Rivas 0
We all appreciate your novel. But seriously, I don't think anyone is gonna read that long ass comment..
zandalee 20
I did. Fascinating stuff.
DocBastard 40
JDM_Rivas - I'm sorry to inform you that a single paragraph does not make a novel. Just because you have the attention span of a gnat doesn't mean we all do.
Mademoiselle_fml 34
That is some crazy... ****** up shit. Don't think it's legal but I commend that woman... I think.
molzipan 16
you know sperm doesn't last that long, right?
RydeOrDie 7
The sperm dies in a used condom very quickly. The lady that used them as a way of conception could have gotten a nasty infection at the very least. Not a child...
dasgaytaco 1
CUM on! That really SUCKS for you op. You'de better think LONG and HARD about your relationship. Maybe it would be best to break up to avoid a STICKY situation. Maybe you should advise that he should become a sailor where it is common to have SEAMAN everywhere.
fromthesuck 8
I didn't it was possible to fail so horribly at using puns. But that was just pathetic
ebonyirony 29
36- trying too hard, buddy.
lexiieeex3 32
I can see you were trying to be funny. Yeah, don't do that.
zeldaluvr2007 15
FYL, OP. Does he at least wash them? I can't imagine how bad they'd smell.
afairshake 8
Oh that's just nasty
mrkck 0
Romance isn't dead.
Enslaved 38
That's one strange collection! Is he proud of his sexual accomplishments with you? ***I remember watching a documentary on NBA players stating how they always had to make sure they got rid of their used condoms when hooking up with groupies. Some of the girls would purposely take the used one and try to get pregnant later on with them to collect big time child support.
livihope 4
Does he like wash them.. Or hang them.. Or are they just all in a pile? Does he mark dates on them? Or what?