Today, I had just finished a really intense workout in my garage gym. It was chilly outside, but I crossed the road home in my shorts, as I was still pretty hot and sweaty. A woman walked by and asked, "Aren't you cold, you skinny little whore?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at the gym, a very attractive lady was working out in front of me, wearing tiny shorts that left zero to the imagination. I kept trying to avert my gaze, until her extremely buff boyfriend came over and threatened me. My crime? I wasn’t checking out his girl enough. FML
Today while I was about to go into the shower, my mom walked in on me while I was naked. She looked down and asked me if I was cold. FML
Today, I was walking home from the gym. I was thinking about how proud of myself I was for losing 34 pounds when someone yelled from a car window, "Look at that fat lump!" FML
Today, I asked my mom if she thought I looked skinny in my shorts. She jiggled my leg fat, looked up at me and walked away. FML
Today, I was working my job checking people in at the gym. A sweaty, chubby woman came up to me complaining about how our staff seems so fit. I replied, "We like to hire people who have bodies that motivate our clients!" She gave a blank stare, then said, "So how did you get the job?" FML
Today, I went for a run and took my shirt off part way through. The next person I saw was a nine year old girl playing outside her house. She looked at me and said, "Ewwwwww! Gross!" FML
Today, I was working out at the gym. A very attractive girl was watching me work out, so feeling like a stud, I tried to lift a really heavy weight. I failed, got trapped, and watched helplessly as she walked away laughing. FML
Today, I went for a run. I noticed a really hot guy mowing his lawn. I ran a couple of laps past him. After a while, when I slowed down, I smiled at him, and he said, "You look really hot." I thanked him, and he quickly replied, "No, I mean you're sweating a lot." FML
Today, it was hot out, so I wore shorts. My dad took one look at me and said, "Your thighs are so pale, it's like staring into the sun". FML
Today, I was at the gym trying to work up the courage to ask a girl out. She was on the treadmill, and I thought it would be cute to wave hello. Instead, she looked horrified and sped up, then slipped and fell off the treadmill. She thought I was mocking her, and now everyone at the gym hates me. FML
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Top comments
ojoRojo 27
I would’ve responded, “nope I’m good, you fat cow.”
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15
did you point and say its actually gym sweat you dumb bitch
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Comments (6)
ojoRojo 27
I would’ve responded, “nope I’m good, you fat cow.”
RichardPencil 32
"You've got to accentuate the positive (skinny), Eliminate the negative (*****)..." Even then, you can spin "*****" into a compliment -- she's essentially saying you're so attractive, you can sell sex instead of futilely attempting to give it away. Keep up the good work, you emaciated prostitute!
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15
did you point and say its actually gym sweat you dumb bitch
Dale Gulley 8
Obviously not a military town. Would’ve yelled “Get Some!”
AmbrosiaFan 19
Cough on her. Sneeze on her. Tell her "I was working out you dumb bitch"
Itsheragain 9
my response. " your husband can warm me up tho"
WistayShlaio82 13
You should have said “nope, your husband and your brother just gave me a really great work out in my living room”