Confused lesbian
Lynchburg, United States
Today, I found a used condom in my bed. I haven't had sex in months and now I'm terrified. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
peridot1aa
Today, I was cleaning out my room and picked up my bed and found a condom. I'm 15 and still a virgin. FML
ohEw
Pasadena, United States
Today, while doing my laundry, I found a very clean but presumably used ribbed condom in my freshly washed and dried sheets. It was not mine. FML
Help
Australia
Today, at work, I found a used condom in the fax machine. I'm the electrical maintenance repair for the company. I have to untangle it from the belts. FML
she won't see a therapist
Omaha, United States
Today, my wife's paranoia reached a new level. She spent a half hour fretting over the idea that one of the cleaning ladies at our hotel might have taken a used condom from our room and tried to get pregnant with it. FML
Anonymous
Great start to the day
Today, I went into my parents' room after spending pretty much all weekend in my their bed while they were out of town. I happened to look out the window, and on the windowsill was a puddle of cat vomit with a condom in it. FML
bob
United States
Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML
bdsam
Yuck.
Today, I found out that the sleeping mask I'd been using for months was actually part of a BDSM kit. I found the rest of it in my dad's room. FML
jlujan00
This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff
Albuquerque, United States
Or he's a drug mule?
Today, I cleaned up the dog poop from around the back yard. This is how I discovered that my dog's favorite snack appears to be used condoms. FML
Anonymous
May be
Today, while I was at my job as senior care, I was in a client's home vacuuming the carpet and found a very used vibrator that belonged to his wife. It wasn't clean. FML
Anonymous
Fresno, United States
Today, I found out I have genital herpes. I'm a virgin. FML
Top comments
Donut_Wizard 23
I think the ghosts started without you.
Chazzster 32
OP you need to clarify something very important - Do you live by yourself in your own apartment or room or do you share with anyone else. If you do live alone you need to get the locks changed (re-keyed) immediately. In that circumstance this could be considered a threat. Contact the police in that case. If you live with some others you need to tell the others what happened and that it is unacceptable. And if practical, get your room door lock changed to one with a real key that you can lock and is not unlocked without a real key - and do not share that key; wear it around your neck if necessary. It’s not that expensive to get locks re-keyed. I had our whole house re-keyed for a little over $100 when we moved in (prices vary with locale). And it’s not that difficult to replace a bedroom door lock with a whole new locking mechanism and doorknob. They sell them at the big box hardware stores for under $50. The only tools required are a flat and a Philips (cross-point) screwdriver. The instructions are in the package. Anyone should be able to follow the instructions.
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Comments (17)
commandpriority 5
Sorry about that...it slipped off I swear.
Donut_Wizard 23
I think the ghosts started without you.
Glowworm56 27
Hey, ghosts need to have safe sex too, you know!
Chazzster 32
OP you need to clarify something very important - Do you live by yourself in your own apartment or room or do you share with anyone else. If you do live alone you need to get the locks changed (re-keyed) immediately. In that circumstance this could be considered a threat. Contact the police in that case. If you live with some others you need to tell the others what happened and that it is unacceptable. And if practical, get your room door lock changed to one with a real key that you can lock and is not unlocked without a real key - and do not share that key; wear it around your neck if necessary. It’s not that expensive to get locks re-keyed. I had our whole house re-keyed for a little over $100 when we moved in (prices vary with locale). And it’s not that difficult to replace a bedroom door lock with a whole new locking mechanism and doorknob. They sell them at the big box hardware stores for under $50. The only tools required are a flat and a Philips (cross-point) screwdriver. The instructions are in the package. Anyone should be able to follow the instructions.
d3rpb0t 10
Wait, did that lady that has sex with ghosts die??
Charlie Given 28
Umm this sounds really ****** up, figure out who did this , change your locks and get something to defend yourself with just in case you have a stocker.
dexter420 21
Ghost sex
RichardPencil 32
Terrified? I’d be jealous! Some random losers are smashing in your bed while you’re getting no action there! How’s that fair? **** ‘em...and not literally!
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15
so... do you live alone. thats the true deciding factor in this ML
real life problems 26
This is proof that one lady DOES have sex with ghosts