Today, my boyfriend called me in the middle of the night and told me he got mugged and was on his way to the hospital. I told him to fuck off because that was a horrible April Fool's joke. He asked if I wanted to talk to the paramedic. I told him to stop bothering me. Turns out it was true. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend ended our relationship. He called me from his mobile phone, claimed to be a trauma surgeon, and told me with a bad German accent that my "boyfriend" had been in a fatal car crash earlier in the day. What the hell is wrong with this idiot? FML
Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML
Today, my boyfriend accidentally called me from his pocket. I thought it would be funny to see what him and his friends were talking about. I laughed when I heard him talking about us fooling around until I realized it wasn't me. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend who's sick, he told me he felt sleepy due to meds and was going to bed. I jokingly said, "you're going to call your other girlfriend, aren't you?" There was silence before I heard, "you weren't supposed to find out like this." FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed. Three hours later, he called me to tell me he was kidding. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend paid a guy to tell me he was dead. FML
Today, my fiancé called me as I was clocking out. I thought he was going to tell me that he was waiting outside. Instead, he told me that he's getting arrested and needs me to call his mom for him. FML
Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML
Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut on his finger. FML
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Top comments
omglolydi 0
Today, I called my girlfriend on the way to the hospital after I had been mugged. She thought I was joking. When I asked if she would like to speak to the paramedic taking care of me, she called me a nuisance. I wasn't joking. FML
UrLifeDoesntSuck 0
Wow, you are a jackass. I hope he dumps you.
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Comments (164)
theoldGP 0
#76 is right though =/ i dont think she's a bitch. depends on the guy.
DankJemo 0
You are not a good girlfriend, someone wakes you up to tell you they have a really big problem, and he was obviously injured if the paramedics were there. I hope he dumps you for being such an insensitive jerk wad. Most people don't joke about having their things stolen from them, then getting their asses kicked. (stabbed, shot at, etc.)
lolzorspoop 0
Bitch
emptyego 0
You're horrible. :(
earwig12 1
Oh come on, people, that's a perfectly legit April Fool's joke and I don't blame her at all for believing it. You should've askied to speak to the paramedic when he offered though. If he was telling the truth, you'd find out, and if he was pulling your leg, he probably was going to have a friend do it or something and it would have been hilarious.
Radiohead_fml 0
Guess your life is really f*cked now, everyone's thinking what an ignorant bitch you are.
KawaiiRoxas 0
you're a mean girlfriend/boyfriend.
Epoch 0
i can't believe 3000 people agreed with you. hey watch this. three words that would have solved the entire problem: "are you serious?"
FeelinSupersonic 0
soooooo......your boyfriend calls you to tell you he's been robbed and injured, and the first thing you can think about is april fools day? wow. i'm sorry he has you as a girlfriend
marycjones 0
You have no compassion! *shakes fist*