Jack
Reynoldsburg, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I realized my girlfriend has been "on her period" for almost two months. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
France
Today, my girlfriend told me that she's scared because her period is late, and that they're usually on time. Five hours late apparently. FML
Anonymous
Mount Clemens, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML
nexus
Papua New Guinea
Alexa, play "Don't Go" by Yazoo
Today, my girlfriend is on her period. She hugged me, crying because she was going to miss me. Where was I going? To the store down the street and back. FML
Daddy.
Australia
Today, I found out the hard way that my girlfriend lied about being on the pill four months ago. FML
anonymous
Nanjing, China
Today, I found out that my wife and two teenage daughters' periods are all one week after the other. I am living in hell almost every single day. FML
3023-dang
United States
Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML
Andrew
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
dan
Canada
Today, to my surprise my girlfriend said, "I've never felt this way before." We have been dating for six months, and I knew that I loved her, so I replied, "Me neither, I love you." There was a long awkward pause. Turns out, she was talking about her abnormally painful period cramps. FML
Ahook1
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
It's a trap!
Today, I discovered that my infertile girlfriend, who I have been having unprotected sex with for the past two months, is apparently very fertile. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Scary
Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML
Top comments
kiraleann 16
It took you that long?
Girlie7 11
At least it shows that she is not pregnant ...
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Comments (184)
kiraleann 16
It took you that long?
buckeyed 20
I've had birth control issues and had to deal with it for almost a month before! But I'm gonna assume OP's gf is having different issues...
JMichael 26
After a week and a half you should've been worried.
Ch_rae5 19
on the bright side she wasn't lying two times of those months.
Soloman212 28
Even a bitchy girlfriend is right once a month?
kirarik 5
Well, you may not know this, but periods can be that long. Some women get them every several months, and they last for a couple more, and some just get them every three weeks and they last for one. So she maybe not be lying.
pandalover69 26
That was my first thought too, I almost want to say YDI just because it took him so long to figure it out.
bubblyhayley 16
certain birth control can have this effect. .. she may not be lieing OP
Ziggyboo 10
@47 Unless she's lying about not being pregnant!
HotRose 18
Very true, #101, some birth controls can have this effect, and some disorders can too. I have to be on birth control, to stop my periods from going on for months. I had a boyfriend who was gravely concerned for me, after I told him after a solid month I was still on my period. It took my mom telling my dad, no matter what he said I was going on the pill. I got the disorder from my mother, who had the same thing growing up. It sucks, but at least there is a way to stop it. Not to bring religion into this, but even in the bible there was a woman who constantly bled for years. (Whether you believe the bible or not, it's not the point. My point is, this isn't a new issue.) OP, ask her to talk to her gynecologist, and see what her best options are. Assuming she is telling the truth.
seroki 1
Obviously you can't trust something that bleeds for 60 days and doesn't die...
GamerG0DDESS 29
Sometimes it does, I'm one of those women. It sucks; I don't know when I'll get my period, when it will stop, how *gross alert* heavy, etcetera. Does this irregularity occur often? Or was it just this (random) time? Wish I could offer some advice, but I'm not sure if there really is a need for advice here.
Miaku 11
156 I hate you. Truly.
Cory123125 3
161 he was obviously jokingly referencing the Salem trials period. Why are you so sensitive about this..... Omg.... SHES A WITCH!!!
psitsruben 10
sounds like your sex life is ....
Welshite 40
An ellipsis?
Not_Impressed13 9
Bloody awful.
purpleunicorn11 7
a menstrausity?
OscarDV 8
non-existent.
Soloman212 28
An ellipses with one too many periods. Sounds about right.
mallu86 9
Pretty ******.
Sports_guy3 28
Not.
zandalee 20
...in the toilet.
Girlie7 11
At least it shows that she is not pregnant ...
FrankHotpants 31
Well you'd have to have some sex for that to happen, which clearly isn't.
Girlie7 11
Well,what if he had sex with her before 'her period'?im thinking that experience might have led her to go on her period....
boxbrandon11 20
Atleast she isn't pregnant!
whos_ur_daddy1 19
Hang in there!
kc_bbg15 14
What do you mean "Hang in there" his girlfriend obviously isn't on her period and has just been playing him the whole time
Enslaved 38
Speaking about playing-- Curious if the OP's name is "Jack" or what he's been doing with his right hand these two months.
ImAFaker 29
Hey, He could be a lefty.
TunaFireStarter 16
58, she could actually be telling the truth. Some hormonal birth control methods can cause bleeding for months at a time.
ShyAnn29 15
Yeah 58, you can't just assume that she was lying.
glabberfasted 16
The bleeding cause by BC is never as severe as a woman's period and does not include all of the other PMS symptoms. Usually it's just "spotting" OP's girlfriend is very clearly lying.
TunaFireStarter 16
That isn't true. Due to BC I ended up having a period for 5 weeks, and at least 3 of them were heavier than any of my periods had ever been before. Not to mention the terrible cramping, which I had also never had before. I thought it would eventually be fine since it got much lighter, but it didn't so I got off of that brand.
ShyAnn29 15
118, every woman doesn't react the same to BC, so no, she's not clearly lying!
skyttlz 32
I had much worse pain on the pill so I quit, now my periods don't hurt nearly as bad as the pill made them.
desidog 12
You should verify it with your own hands.
happle 21
That comment actually creeped me out a little.
whiteboy896 9
And if she is? Thats ******* gross...
Zelphoric 25
Aw thats nasty
vuduguru 5
May be nasty but his comment isn't buried with thumbs down
starile 20
This suggestion makes sense. You know, if she isn't a ho.
megatherium 4
Yeah, touching her genitals against her will to see if she's lying about what could be a legitimate medical or psychological issue is a brilliant move. Who needs communication, anyway?
VancouverGuy89 9
Good idea best way to find out go in yourself ;)
Jjan04 14
"Medical or psychological issue"? Are you retarded?
tishtashbat 16
And what, exactly, is so 'retarded' about the fact that his girlfriend COULD have a medical or psychological issue? It seems pretty likely she's lying about having her period for so long. If she's not lying, it's probably a medical issue. If she is lying, it could be due to an underlying psychological issue, a past traumatic sexual experience for example.
that_band_nerd 22
Ok, I think she might just maybe be lying to get out of sex. maybe
alphatoomega 21
That and/or trying to excuse her bitchiness.
Tall_Enough 10
just "maybe"?
poopylaw 5
no shit sherlock
Not_Impressed13 9
It actually may be that she has been lowing for a couple of months. It happened to a friend of mine. A couple of trips to the doctor helped her and her bf out! ;-)
that_band_nerd 22
#25, welcome to the world of jokes. its not that complicated.
poopylaw 5
maybe
MortenM 17
#36, I think you've arrived in the wrong world. This one is the one with the good jokes
that_band_nerd 22
Again? Damn it, the TARDIS must need some adjustments.
Jjan04 14
#95, i thought it was funny...
girlrome 19
It's so obviously a sarcastic comment! Lighten up guys!
Maycontainnuts 17
I thought this said hasn't been on her period for a moment... sit her down and ask her in a non expeting non confrontational way what is really wrong. If she doesn't want to have sex she should feel able to tell you.
Callilah 13
Yes:)
hatemyluck 15
Maybe she's scared to have sex. Or, you could be one of those boyfriends that put too much pressure on sex, especially if you guys were dating for 3 months or less. Either way, she shouldn't have to lie to you and you should ask her about it.
runnerj116 11
At least she hasn't had a "headache" for 2 months!
jwebster 8
As someone with chronic migraines, let me say, this is very fortunate. The only thing that helps my headaches is sex. My man is a one a day kind of guy...
ashalayx 13
actually it is scientifically proven that sex releases endorphins that help with headaches, so it wouldnt really be a bad thing
TunaFireStarter 16
68, while sex can help some people's headaches and migraines, sometimes it hurts too much to even consider having sex. As another (nearly daily) migraine sufferer, I would gladly have a 2 month period instead of migraines. I wouldn't wish chronic migraines on anyone.
vewwe 20
Poor thing, make sure you buy her lots of chocolate and a bunch of tampons ! Or wait, maybe you should be the one getting that; not the tampons, but the chocolate.
Jjan04 14
Or the asshole. Take your pick. Haha