Today, my boyfriend and I were spooning in bed, nude, when I accidentally farted. He freaked out and asked in all seriousness if I was trying to give his dick pink-eye. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML
Today, while being intimate with my future husband, I reached over to stroke his cheek. The light behind him cast a shadow over my chest, and it scared me so much, I screamed then I farted on him. FML
Today, I woke up to a disappointed boyfriend. He told me he spent an hour last night farting on my pillow to see if I would wake up with pink-eye. He's 23 years-old. FML
Today, I was having hot sex with my boyfriend. Then, I felt a puff of air hit my face and a rancid smell. My dog had farted in my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
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Top comments
nmcoy 6
Pink eye from the brown eye?
davincidasecond 24
Did you tell him it's "pink eye", not "pink dick"?
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Comments (90)
HortonThelephant 15
That's when you look him dead in the eye and say "Its already been done."
XxcaitanatorXx 12
wow your boyfriend is very charming
abekj52 9
Well, were you trying to?
caligirllife 11
What?
Obey_StudBoii 23
What an idiot. It's called Pink Eye for a reason and your dick doesn't have a set of eyes. Tell him to grow up.
slappygecko 21
It is called the one eyed monster.
Obey_StudBoii 23
Doesn't count as pink eye.
PeachiePrincess 16
Dude needs to chill, I'd like to know how many times he's passed gas with you around.
Spajina 3
Look at the bright side, at least you know there is an extremely low chance he is going to pressure you into anal!
PrimeStarscream 30
No FML has ever made me laugh as hard as this one.
willymartinds 9
Your boyfriend must've been pretty damn stupid to think that if you fart on his dick, he will get pinkeye, what a dumbass!
HeartOfLead 24
With which head was he thinking?