Today, I woke up to a disappointed boyfriend. He told me he spent an hour last night farting on my pillow to see if I would wake up with pink-eye. He's 23 years-old. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML
Today, when my boyfriend came to bed, I rolled over and watched as he used his pinky to clean out both nostrils, then eat it what he found. He’s almost 25. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
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Top comments
astralvagan 20
That's so immature. Doesn't he know that you have to fart directly on the eye, not the pillow?
unknown_user5566 27
Tell him you were disappointed too, when you found out that his size 14 shoes didn't actually mean he has a big package. Oh, myths are fun.
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Comments (135)
KittyWantMilk 4
Return the favour.
botanistjessica 24
This is becoming the new overused phrase on FML
Cbizzlez 10
Shit on his pillow
loloalltheway 23
1 and 22: then OP would be just as immature as her boyfriend.
yankfan89 27
5- I think the most used comment on FML is " that's shitty" when it's a crap related FML.
newbiehere99 6
I feel like the phrase "He's/She's a keeper" has become overused ...
OldMemoriesFade 8
If you don't like the comment thumbs it down, its inevitable, people are going to post whatever they want, even unfortunately the same old comments, due to the fact, people once thumbed it up.
Spectre529 12
That's a keeper
Dory123 9
Can people stop with "he's/she's a keeper", its so pointless and overused.
MrSassypants 34
That is why 2 switched it up with "that's".
MormonPornstar 7
Complaining about every other poster is also overdone. Figure it out
onlychildFTW 34
Well there wouldn't be a need to complain if people didn't keep posting "He's a keeper" "She's a keeper" "That's a keeper" "There a keeper" (yes, wrong there/they're) It's all people seem to post now.
Spectre529 12
It's what people post because it works and it's sarcastic. If you don't like it, make your own
astralvagan 20
That's so immature. Doesn't he know that you have to fart directly on the eye, not the pillow?
connerwonner 7
Is it true that you have to fart without any pants?
TotallyAradical 14
I think it's actual fecal particles that cause the infection. Don't let your dogs sit, or shit, on your pillows.
Brotha_Lou 5
Hold up that's how u get pink eye? I used to think its when somebody fap fap on your eye.
cloudygirl5 16
Lol wow... I agree with # 1
Death_Hoe_Inn 10
Then post your comment as a reply ಠ_ಠ
cloudygirl5 16
Noooo it's a freeeeeee countryyyyyy shut up loser
kotana191 8
remind me again how farting relates to pink eye
TellMeWhatsDeath 14
Am I the only one that sees your same comment 6 FREAKING TIMES?
SirCharles83 13
No. And somehow, the comment gets worse every time you read it .
kotana191 8
remind me again how farting relates to pink eye
desoto96 9
*face palm*
heygirlie777 21
10- so there's this thing where you google something before saying you don't get it so you won't look like an idiot. You should try it some time.
MrSassypants 34
78, wait a second, what is Google? Oh wait, my bad. I'm going to take your advice and Google it. Thanks!
RoboCunnilingus 23
So sad. Instead of everyone being a ********, why can't they just help him out and tell him. He wasn't being rude at all, it was just a question. Give him the answer, tell him the error of his ways, and move on. Anyway, it's an old myth about the bacteria in a fart contaminating the pillow, reaching the eye, blah blah. Really disgusting.
xBIG_Dx 0
Fecal particles don't cause pink eye...it's a myth made famous by a stupid ass movie, the name of which i'm not going to mention. According to any qualified doctor, pink eye is only caused by touching your mouth, nose, then your eye, or of course beng near someone with it. And FYI for the dumbasses with no life that will reply to this and try to tell me i'm wrong, kiss my ass cuz i won't read it, but i'd be happy to beat your ass for you, just come find me.
kotana191 8
remind me again how farting relates to pink eye
kotana191 8
remind me again how farting relates to pink eye
kotana191 8
remind me again how farting relates to pink eye
kotana191 8
remind me again how farting relates to pink eye
FlyingPie 17
He probably expected bacteria from the fart to infect an eye. And why did you feel the need to post your comment 6 times?
Celina_Lune 20
20- it was probably an accident. Maybe FML can delete them all except for one? Yes? ...guys? Edit: they did it!!
CharresBarkrey 16
7 - Pink eye is normally caused by feces particles getting in the eye.
onlychildFTW 34
As long as you fart naked on someone's pillow it could cause pink eye. It is cause by small particles. And these particles can't get through clothing.