Today, I found out that when I text my boyfriend, he isn't the one to read them. Instead, he pays his friend to "keep the bitch busy." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that the reason my boyfriend hasn't texted me recently is that he'd forgotten he was dating anyone. FML
Today, my boyfriend refuses to talk to me because of a misread text. FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend, and he pretended he was a Burger King employee who found a lost phone, just so that he wouldn't have to talk to me. FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend doesn’t have me as a pinned text message thread on his phone. But he definitely has his female best friend pinned. He even has a cute nickname for her. The girl he says, "Not to worry about." FML
Today, my boyfriend came over and dropped off my phone, which I'd left at his place the night before. He immediately left in a sulk. As I looked through my texts, I discovered he was only so moody because I hadn't answered any of his calls or messages. I'm dating an idiot. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a sweet text message, since he recently complained that I'm rarely romantic. Instead of being happy, he decided that since it's so out of character for me, I must be cheating on him and must have only sent it out of guilt. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text message. Every 20 minutes or so, I'll get a notification that I have a new message, and I check it just to find that same message sitting there. I'm being trolled by my own phone. FML
Today, I confronted my boyfriend after he received a text with a bunch of hearts on it. After arguing, turns out it was from me. FML
Today, I found out that my husband keeps in contact with the woman he was infatuated with in high school. He texts her more than he texts me. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I was the only girl he'd ever text, call, or flirt with again. Later on he told two other girls exactly the same thing on Facebook, not realizing that everybody can read wall messages. FML
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Top comments
challan 19
I can only imagine the things you've said to his friend... And the pictures you've sent. Wow, sorry op.
euphoricness 28
When you're texting your boyfriend just mention how "cute" his friend is and ask him if he's single if ya know what I mean. As a joke of course
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Comments (184)
BethanyHills 10
Ouch OP, that sucks.
peacheso 31
FHL for not knowing your worth.
TheOnlyMizLiv 22
You never know, she could really be a bitch.
Gothicbunnyx3 16
This is why the lesbian rate is going up because guys are just total pricks.
IGaveRickUp 15
So then the obvious choice is to stay with her??
jamsie_fml 17
That's not sexist at all, 36.
missrebecca3 8
the stress of having the first comment got to you eh?
etoilenuit 15
So what's this friend like? Bc your basically in a relationship with him. Might as well upgrade.
sematariux 7
42, why the hell does it matter what number comment they were?
Uramonkey 11
42 - The joke is getting old and at this point is worse than the first comment in the first place.
Wakachulak 22
This friend is willing to deceive someone for money. Not an upgrade IMO.
revan546 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You should start paying for the same thing 1. Pay friends 2. Send texts 3. ??? 4. Profit
Cheeley 17
Uhh no OP would actually lose money.
JACKxRAWR 22
Not if OP started selling crack to subsidise her text-butler.
rosenkrieger223 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
39, That comment wasn't anywhere close to being serious. The numbered list thing is an internet meme. They weren't being literal. At all.
capslockisgood 19
83 Yes, but it should still make sense.
kurodansei 16
Tell friend you'll send more txts if he cuts you in on the profit.
missjessicamarie 14
That's a card on cards against humanity
Justine Malang 16
I don't see how that's a profit...
challan 19
I can only imagine the things you've said to his friend... And the pictures you've sent. Wow, sorry op.
rg350dx 29
That's brilliant on the friends part. Get payed to send text messages, with a chance of nudes. Where do I sign up?
Jjimen1654 9
Not everyone is dumb enough to send naked pictures to other people.
rawr_ily96 24
Well, I don't think she knew it wasn't her boyfriend up 'til now, #44.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
You're right, 44. Sometimes they send pictures of themselves in matching zebra print bra and panties. ;)
challan 19
As my friend, you are not supposed to tell what I sent my sweetie. Its his business and mine.
challan 19
Remind me never to admit anything to you again McDouche
Jjimen1654 9
51 who cares who the pic is for, what happens when they break up? That pic will be public in a matter of minutes.
Sfaizi24 17
1. Op said nothing about nudes 2. If you're sending nudes it's usually because you trust that person enough that they wouldn't be a dick and forward your pics
challan 19
They don't have to be nude to be too sexy for his friend or for her to be embarrassed.
Uramonkey 11
75 - I would never trust anyone with a nude picture of me (At least at my age). I'm glad i've never taken one.
Ryodin 11
If he pays his friend to 'keep the bitch busy' I'm going to bet they aren't big on sexting and exchanging nudes.
_parth 20
I have done this. Hahaha
aimzskee 30
At least op's boyfriend can't get upset with her over what she's been texting.
WhitePrettyKitty 10
He's an asshole. Talk with him and if he won't change, dump him. Sorry OP. No guy is worth putting up with that.
chlorinegreen 27
I think that's part of the problem :( he doesn't want to talk.
etishuman22 32
Not everyone talks through text messages though, #7. She'd have to face him to work through this. Not that I think that he's worth it to work through it. He sounds like a stupid kid.
TheModernPatriot 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That's the problem with women right there, you can't change a man. Stop trying and just go with the ones that fit your criteria In the first place.
Zimmington 21
97- Totally agree. I have a friend dealing with this right now. She knew he was a asshole before they got together but expected him to change for her when she didn't make it a requirement.
etishuman22 32
#115- A-*******-men! I had a friend who would take on "project" boyfriends all the time and would have these horrible relationships and then our friendship would be affected because her relationship revolved around everything for her. I eventually dumped her as a friend because I wasn't allowed to suggest she not date assholes and former heroine addicts who still hung out with heroine addicts. And I wasn't allowed to tell her about my healthy relationship because apparently I was "shoving my relationship down her throat". So I stopped being friends with her. People like that piss me off so much. Sorry for ranting. This wound is still fresh.
thatghostdude 9
**** talking the relationship is done
pam241 15
That's just ****** up. How is your boyfriend's friend always around anyway?
JACKxRAWR 22
Probably just has the phone that she texts.
kurodansei 16
Boyfriend is secretly homosexual. Or Bi.
misspulkadot24 17
Oh and the bitch with be busy...busy planning incredible diabolical revenge. He better prepare himself for war.
thatchick1994 14
*Will
rosenkrieger223 24
78, That was completely unnecessary. Anyone with even half a brain could figure out what she meant. Correcting her on such a minor typo just makes you look like an asshole. Just sayin'....
phillysportsfan 13
*saying
rosenkrieger223 24
111, Notice the apostraphe after the N, what I did was proper. If you're going to be a grammar nazi, at least be good at it.
Wakachulak 22
Come on, is it really worth it?
laden_swallow09 35
142- Not proper. Colloquial.
VeganVampyre 27
144- but properly colloquial.
shutupmichaela 18
apostrophe*
euphoricness 28
When you're texting your boyfriend just mention how "cute" his friend is and ask him if he's single if ya know what I mean. As a joke of course
PterodactylMan 23
Yeah do what #8 said and play him dirty
VeganVampyre 27
"Hell yeah! I mean, uhh, I think he is... Why did you wanna know, babe?"
inkdeath87 18
Dump his ass. Any jerk that does that, doesn't deserve a girlfriend.
Uhscanherdarklee 10
Is it a per text rate? If so, you and his friend should go into business together with you texting him non stop. That way you'll at least get paid for him being a douche if you decide to stay with him.
azwethinkweiz87 11
Douche boyfriend. Guess you got some thinking to do about this relationship... he has some growing up to do methinks!