Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. It was going well until I accidentally passed gas. To add to the embarrassment, he rated it. I only got a 4 out of 10. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I finally had sex. The entire time he kept begging me to fart, especially on him. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex, but every time he thrust into me, he farted. Loud, smelly, wet farts. After a minute, I shoved him off and demanded he take a dump. After a full five minutes of loud diarrhea, he came back to bed, his ass stinking of sewage. My pussy dried up so fast… FML
Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML
Today, while being intimate with my future husband, I reached over to stroke his cheek. The light behind him cast a shadow over my chest, and it scared me so much, I screamed then I farted on him. FML
Today, my long-term boyfriend and I went on a romantic getaway. In the hotel we were having great sex, I was so close to… and then he farted. FML
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. When we finished, he mentioned that he made me queef. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I actually farted during sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML
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Top comments
texas_justice 0
...a guy frightened by his own fart has no business reproducing.
xSPiDERPiGx 0
OP admit it.. it was you..
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Comments (173)
brycereid 0
haha was it stinky
kobe24doinwork 0
the real question is, was your pussy stinky?
Bon3less 0
in WTF kind of position would he fart on her puss lmao
flufffypants 0
"Smells like teen spirit"
leighxxx998 0
lmao!! I think that's one of the funniest FMLs I've read so far!
flufffypants 0
ty
d119 0
lol well at least it wasn't a ninja fart. those things r silent but deadly
schnitzel5 0
hahaha omg that's funny
saviisneat 0
lol I agree. but don't use the word intercourse, it's lame. yall are young people so how about use the words monkey love. and hopefully yall try again and don't let this discourage you. monkey love is fun even with farts ;)
Endless 0
sounds like something off of family guy when Peter had his first fart
JtotheZ 0
no...no.... just stop. please
Jlevrt 0
ive heard of being scared of ur own shadow but THIS is funny!
killerbeee01 0
that's funny! what if someone pointed him a gun? LOOOL
trenton95 4
lol wow that's so funny I almost pissed myself
AndreaHaha 0
lmao is all i can say haha.
amerrah 4
Thats pretty hilarious.
iazy9 14
nooo silent but violent
greenlime_fml 3
Beans, beans, the musical fruit! The more you eat, the more you toot! The more you toot, the better you feel! So lets eat beans for every meal!!
Soupizcool 0
#50 and #110 lol nigahiga
woofis 0
man he must have been tripping shrooms or something... I love the Arizona drug related fmls.
WompWompDub_Step 0
maybe you just queefed.
buckeyefan16 14
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhh
m4d_h4tT3r 0
zomgz i totally related this to the family guy thing when he discovered his first fart. this is me and my besties favorite. You got yourself a winner there. so bright indeed! lolol
YuriKitty4Evz 0
yeah total family guy moment lol
flotar 0
lol @ your boyfriend, this is too funny ;-p
trenton95 4
this is my favorite fml of all time
newnew8 0
haha this is my fav fml too !!!
facebooker1234 3
I quite literally couldn't stop laughing. even now I'm giggling!
xSPiDERPiGx 0
OP admit it.. it was you..
GiddyXD 0
lol
wowmomurcool 0
haha that made me laugh more that the OP lmaooooo
DoubleL4567 0
ahahahathis made me laugh harder xD
texas_justice 0
...a guy frightened by his own fart has no business reproducing.
Jrook 0
he was trying to cover for it you tards. "it couldn't be me because if it was I wouldn't havave been scared"
CRUZs_GURL1 0
maybe it hurt his ass lol and ask it as a "WHAT was that?" but the op thought he was scared cause thier was a sound coming out the rear end during "intercorse" lol or maybe she farted out of her vag and the guy asked lol but she made this story up so she won't look like she did something wrong on the "first time"
CRUZs_GURL1 0
"intercourse"
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
I think the poor dude has a weird queef phobia. He was terrified by the possibility.
santos20 0
lmfao so tru #4...but this was so jokes!!
GinandJenkem 0
Weak genetics are weeded out.
inuyashagirl 0
ahhhhhhh not Cruz girl! plz don't rant againn
rzbt21 0
you are utterly hideous.
paid2think 0
haha woww
FYLDeep 26
He thought it was surprise buttsecks.
Shmeaty 0
surprise buttsecks is the best kind of buttsecks.
depotst 0
Not! Invisible buttsecks is!
iBrittanyy 17
Lmfaooo sorry but that made me laugh :P It wa yr guys first time as a couple though so give him a break.
kinkajoujennie 0
Are you sure you didn't queef?
RODEOqueen 0
I was thinking it was her that farted... Guys don't scared by their own fart.
clarienet 0
actually I've heard of guys who fall asleep and fart themselves awake and say the heard something that the can't figure out what it was. haha happened today with this guy named Randy in gov. lol
oliboi 0
she did but didnt want to admit it. she queefed so bad his his dick was vibrating
x805xUnknown 6
Oh shit, your heard that duck too?!
CRUZs_GURL1 0
lol
CRUZs_GURL1 0
quack!!!
oliboi 0
yeah i heard it from my house she queefs really loud. and the guy was just scarred for life cuz OP queefed on his dick
oliboi 0
i heard it all the way from here :P
inuyashagirl 0
Cruz gurl ur so ******* weird
l6de7w 0
how can I message you?? you seem really cool :) I like Jeremiah 29:11.