Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, while making a move in a board game that helped my boyfriend win, he got all excited and said "I love you, babe." I smiled until I realized this was the first time he told me that other than when he wants a blow-job. FML
Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said, "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML
Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying, "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML
Today, my boyfriend was laying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passion in his eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me that he loved me. Instead, he said, "You have a booger." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML
Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came, "I want to be inside you." I'm a woman. FML
Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said, "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML
Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML
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Top comments
aliadnan708 6
Did u blow him?
ninjuh_wingman 29
Tell him you will if he can give you an ******.
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Comments (139)
justme0003 6
u must've replied...i didnt say i love you too, i said, ure dick is so small baby
TheDrudgeChild 4
Asking for a BJ doesn't mean she has to insult him.
marisadc79 0
Wow he could have at least let it go if he loves you and then maybe asked again. A little more romantic wording and approach might be nice though. No love for you equals no love for him in my book.
groupleader 7
I love you......unzip.....
iloveweed69 7
That's hot
nemo88 8
DID YOU
Jenchixo 1
Lmao! Oh my! XD
Mayjay122 7
At least he was being honest and straight forward...
cherrylover143 0
That sucks
Hammer01 8
No..... She sucks!!!!! Hahaha
chels1994 11
They almost sound alike
RedPillSucks 33
Well. Blow him a few kisses and be done with it.
MissHayleyJames 7
If my husband ever asks for a ********, I blow air on it and walk away.