Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, while making a move in a board game that helped my boyfriend win, he got all excited and said "I love you, babe." I smiled until I realized this was the first time he told me that other than when he wants a blow-job. FML
Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said, "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML
Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying, "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML
Today, my boyfriend was laying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passion in his eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me that he loved me. Instead, he said, "You have a booger." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML
Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came, "I want to be inside you." I'm a woman. FML
Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said, "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML
Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
aliadnan708 6
Did u blow him?
ninjuh_wingman 29
Tell him you will if he can give you an ******.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (139)
RedMosquito 4
Tomato, tomatoe
hewdud 0
Cuz nothing says I love you like a ******* ;)
WCARlover 35
Cute.
NateSkye 3
Indeed, it's definitely one of those things to say in the heat of passion
Goatinsfriend 8
Good try, though!
brando_243 0
Not really it kinda backfired
5HT2A 5
Lol because "I love you" and "blow me" sound eerily alike
logiee_bearr 6
When a guy says "I love you", he really means "blow me"
AugustBurnsToast 14
Like seriously, he could've just played along
logiee_bearr 6
He would have had a better chance getting it if he played along
mama2b3 20
Charming AND romantic!! Don't let that one get away op!
rinse087 0
Why would you say that? He sounds like a complete douche.
Marteeny23 19
50- Because she was being sarcastic.....
perdix 31
If you blow him enough, eventually he will love you for real. So, start sucking and hope you get the love you deserve sooner rather than later.
MyLoveDrunk 11
Yes because love develops through blow jobs rather than heart-to-heart connection.
perdix 31
It's an alternate route if you want to get a heartless bastard to say "I love you." It'll work...it just has to!
MyLoveDrunk 11
Yeah if you're goal is to get a fake "I love you," but then again why would you want to do all that work for something that gets thrown around almost as much as the daily paper.
perdix 31
At this point, it appears that the OP has been putting out for nothing. Now, she can withhold sex until she forms an emotional bond with him, or she can suck his dick until he caves in. Which course seems more practical in this case?
MyLoveDrunk 11
I would think that if she has had sex with him already, withdrawing it from him wouldn't give her anymore satisfaction and security than if she were to suck him dry for an "I love you." Also we cant assume things about her relationship. Maybe they've only been dating for a short time or maybe they aren't serious, who knows.
perdix 31
You are right. We can't know much about the OP's relationship. This is why we are doomed to making jokes at the OP's expense instead of being able to provide advice.
slacker92 9
Yeah or they've been together a while, OP missheard the guy, and he thought it was funny that she got "blow me" and "i love you" mixed up because they sound very different. I know i would laugh if that happened between me and my gf. She'd probly be embarrassed at first but we would laugh about it later
thatguy32692 4
There is no point in arguing with pedrix lol he will always win it's just a rule of thumb.... Just saying
Meggers1 0
That isn't the way love works, asshole.
perdix 31
#100, Does your reply mean that non-stop anal is what works for you?
dabomb1463 0
His name is Perdix
MyLoveDrunk 11
Oh well
OhDearBetrayal 25
72- Actually if disregard who wrote what, you'll notice that neither of them won nor lost. Both had points.
OhDearBetrayal 25
126- Science is great and all, but there are some things that cannot be defined and love is one of them. Lust is different from love which is what you are talking about. Lust lasts for the little amount of time it takes to bang someone, but love obviously doesn't.
floopyflooper 2
I don't get how this is an FML. It's a misunderstanding, so what?
failsammich 0
with did u say to get moderated on a FML about sex lobe and bjs???
TheEpicMilkMan 13
tell him to satisfy you the way he wants to be satisfied :3
immaMonsta 8
This happened to me once...except my boyfriend said, "I miss you.", all I heard was the "I" and "you" though, so I assumed he said "I love you.". Just like you I told him I loved him too (we're in a serious relationship) and just like your boyfriend, he didn't play along and told me what he'd really said. But then he said he loved me after that. Not quite the same situation, but FYL. I would've been embarrassed. I just hope that you meant it when you said it, because saying it without meaning it isn't cool at all. If you did mean it, I hope your boyfriend will say it back/love you too one day.
addicted2_FML 6
Life story