Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said, "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, I realized the only times my boyfriend ever says, "I love you" are after he screws up or when he wants a blowjob. FML
Today, while making a move in a board game that helped my boyfriend win, he got all excited and said "I love you, babe." I smiled until I realized this was the first time he told me that other than when he wants a blow-job. FML
Today, I began to sign "I love you" to my boyfriend from across the room. I ended up just poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, my boyfriend was laying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passion in his eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me that he loved me. Instead, he said, "You have a booger." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. During the act, he looked deep in to my eyes before whispering, "Up the arse next time?" FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying, "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML
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Top comments
denaeb123 24
He sounds like most of his dick is in his personality
ghetto_child 19
pure romance
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Comments (96)
Blaisey 22
That sucks :/
IAmzephyr 22
yeah. he seems like a real piece of work.
A07 48
But OP doesn't. Edit - Just saw #14
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
it's disrespectful is what it is...I would reevaluate the relationship because respect has to be a main factor.
kerstileann 26
that wasnt accidental.....
_Adog2645 24
And they say chivalry is dead!
immaMonsta 8
Sounds like something my fiancée would say; only he'd be joking. Hopefully this is the case with you and your boyfriend OP!
A07 48
Don't know about your Fiancée but OP's boyfriend clearly isn't joking.
Sonjington 20
That blows.
mrlawlor7777 26
But OP doesn't.
blazingshot147 19
Hope not, blowing can hurt a guy.
Sulphuric_Glue 16
Ayyy lmao
chickenlips23 16
You should have said "Eat Me".
vikky538 29
he meant it...it seems...
denaeb123 24
He sounds like most of his dick is in his personality
DemonBoy1988 22
I believe he is what they call a "********"
ghetto_child 19
pure romance
brokenjawskhan 21
Not all people know what love is.
laden_swallow09 35
I want you to show meeeee…
thefmlman2011 37
....what love is
countryb_cth 38
.... Baby don't hurt me don't hurt me no more
feven 32
With that mindset he must have had quite a relationship with his English teachers
FloWPs_fml 16
How do you say "screw you" in that wonderful new language ? Oh I know, putting my middle finger up would be better. Sometimes, you don't even need words, you see ?