Today, while working as a receptionist at a health clinic a woman came to settle her account. Before she left, she held out her closed palm and asked if I could put something in the bin for her. I held out my hand and watched many bits of chewed fingernails land in my palm. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at work when a customer, who was going to pay for her groceries, started sorting through her money. She put some coins in her mouth, seemed to suck on them for a while, and then gave them to me. FML
Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML
Today, I was eating some cake that my roommate's girlfriend brought by for us. I felt something weird in my mouth, so I stopped chewing to grab it. It was a fingernail. FML
Today, while working as a receptionist at a doctor's office, my boss asked me to check in one more patient before I left. He paid his $50 copay in nickels and dimes. FML
Today, after paying at the gas station, the cashier stuck out her hand, which was clenched into a fist. I thought she wanted a fist-bump, so I gave her one. She just stared back at me. Turns out she was just trying to give me my change. FML
Today, at the orthodontist, the nurse was checking my teeth. She asked me a question while her finger was in my mouth, and when I stupidly tried to reply, I bit her finger. FML
Today, at my job serving, I went to clear the plates when a guy said, "Hold on a second." Thinking he wasn't quite finished, I went to put the plate back. He then reached into his mouth, pulled out a dark brown object and threw it on the plate. It was a rotten tooth. I almost puked. FML
Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML
Today, I fistbumped a cashier as they tried to hand me my change. FML
Today, I was working my shift at our local nursing home. I was assisting a "sweet", "innocent" 100-year-old lady, and she had a bunch of used tissues balled up in her lap, so I offered to dispose of them in the waste-basket. She told me that if I touched them, she would kill everything I love. FML
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Top comments
badass243 6
you should thrown em down and yelled "AW HELL NO"
TinyEMT 6
That's beyond disgusting. -_-
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Comments (83)
TinyEMT 6
That's beyond disgusting. -_-
nic7973 23
that's just plain feral! So wrong!
indielove 13
You should have dropped your hand and looked at her like "I'm not picking that up"
iloveweed69 7
I'd throw them at her face :-)
JustinComments 3
43 - So would number 4.. Hours before you wrote it.
iloveweed69 7
48 - LOL @ you. Chill :-)
valalvax 13
That's why I always hold the trash can out for them, even if I can see it, only need to have something covered in slobber touch your hand once to avoid touching the shit
badass243 6
you should thrown em down and yelled "AW HELL NO"
sinking_fish 12
"So I threw it on the GROUND!" :)
lebronesque73091 12
34- That's hilarious :)
sinking_fish 12
58- :)
jheinz33 3
Happy birthday to the ground!
grimpeeper 13
"Welcome to the real world jackass!"
Torch15 9
omg that was me!
sammyf89 13
So you're a woman in Australia not an 18y/o male in Canada?
cosmosis 12
With a name like Torch anything is possible!! Flame ON!!
JustinComments 3
42- Flamer would have made for a better joke.
DontClickOnMe 28
Eww, I would've thrown them at her face.
SecretMe00 5
First thought: "What the ****?!!!!!!!"
tygerarmy 35
Eww, that's nasty. I'd have gave them back. Or thrown them at her, depending how secure my job is.
xFreexHopex 0
Fyl =3
CharlieShe 2
If you didnt react or slightly made a discusted face, you are a jedhi. Just sayin
japtch 15
A what?
girl112891 7
Two words: star wars!
babygirlx24 5
Ew, I would have dashed them in her face. **** outta here dirty bitch
aliadnan708 6
Should've told her to open her other hand cuz u have a surprise for her in ur hand
menechiann 0
For OH&S issues get them to come around or just pull out the bin for them. That's just disgusting and very inconsiderate of her. I used to work at a medical center and the amount of times people expected me to throw their dirty tissues in the bin was ridiculous.