Today, while making a move in a board game that helped my boyfriend win, he got all excited and said "I love you, babe." I smiled until I realized this was the first time he told me that other than when he wants a blow-job. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said, "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML
Today, I realized the only times my boyfriend ever says, "I love you" are after he screws up or when he wants a blowjob. FML
Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I loved him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML
Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the very first time in three years. Apparently, all it took was anal. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by fist pumping. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML
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Top comments
YouCantBreakMe 9
To me it seems like you deserve it. How about him telling you he loves you first, then after awhile give him a *******?
WallyTheWombat 0
You're a man and you talk like that? Not all men are pigs. I tell my GF that I love her whenever we part ways because I never know if I'm gonna see her again. If something happens, I don't want the last thing I said to be "great ******* babe ;)"
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Comments (97)
YouCantBreakMe 9
To me it seems like you deserve it. How about him telling you he loves you first, then after awhile give him a *******?
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
Just give the man his damn *******! he said he loved you what more do you want a ******* wedding ring?
BethiiGeex 0
18.
xkiss 0
why would she want to marry a guy like that? maybe she just wants a little respect?
notaveragejojo 0
Maybe he was using sarcasm
skittle68 0
This one literally made me lol. My bf calls down, " I love you honey!" when he wants me to go warm up his car. Hasn't worked yet.
Devin91 20
18 yur an ass , yu will never get a girl acting like tht .
etanman 5
yes because 18 comes on fml to look for girls your such a dumb ass
thevaporizer 0
or did he want a ******* there?
mdkarwandy 0
play monopoly more and life's good
iliketurdles 7
Get ******** more often and life is better.
cwhitney11 4
Get sex more and his life is perfect
iamironman97 0
wow these comments were full of win.
KingDingALing 9
Get sandwichs more and life is a dream come true.
WhatTheFuq 0
Get all that without telling her I love you and you've hit the jackpot.
cwhitney11 4
this thread wins
irelandguy 0
this isn't really an FML. you did something nice for him, he said he loves you. it could be serious.
Bees_fml 0
The OP said her bf made the move that helped him win.
apcfan009 0
i always wonder what could possibly be moderated when it is possible to talk about swearing and sex and ******** on here...
DaveOnDope 4
Sweetheart, men are pigs. I am one, so I speak from experience. Tell your boyfriend what you posted here. Watch him squirm for a while, then if he's still around. Drop it and see if he changes. We men learn the hard way, but we learn.
Summera 2
Get out of here traitor.
Freeze_fml 17
Brainwashed by women.
docscientist 10
Self-proclaimed pigs are the ones really trying to get at something.
DaveOnDope 4
But get at what?
Draminicaus 0
No no....The only thing you're gonna change by doing that is to get him to say the words "I love you" more than usual, even if he doesn't mean it. You can change the wheels on a truck, but that doesn't make it a Porsche.
WallyTheWombat 0
You're a man and you talk like that? Not all men are pigs. I tell my GF that I love her whenever we part ways because I never know if I'm gonna see her again. If something happens, I don't want the last thing I said to be "great ******* babe ;)"
carcinogan 0
^^ Lmaooo
DaveOnDope 4
Right on Wally! Thank god someone gets it without a few lessons thrown in. But you're still a pig.
DudeImBetter 0
^^ what are you, gay? its either that or you're a girl. I never met a guy that says sweetheart.
Ruff_fml 3
"men are pigs" No. pigs are pigs men are men.
EffinAhole 0
34 I have actually known some dudes who say "sweetheart" they are usually older creepy men talking to a young woman or little girl. It's also kinda a southern thing. Either way it creeps me out. My wife hates it.
EffinAhole 0
oh and Dave is totally a chick pretending to be a guy.
boopityboppity 11
Who are you to say that, Dopey? What unavoidable blight makes me a pig?
worldclass 0
Just out of curiosity.. why is it so hard for guys to say those words? I've been with the same guy for a couple years so the fact that he says it frequently doesn't surprise me.
Devin91 20
guys shouldn't be afraid to say it , I say it to my gf and we've been together for 3 years .
aliaskis 3
38: No. Pigs are men. So men come from pigs. They must be pigs. Orwell, anyone?
KingDingALing 9
34- Just because he says "sweetheart" doesn't mean he's gay, dumbass.
fmlfags 0
no you don't because you're single
wtf20007 10
^win ^
punkprincess255 0
sadly i. hve ... nd it's extremely awkward lol
punkprincess255 0
that was to 34
pegasii 0
your profile says single, ********
Alexander22 0
He was being sarcastic when he said it
Hiimhaileypotter 53
I know I'm like 2 years too late but I wanted to reply to #45. I think it depends on how the man says it. If it's a creepy, shady guy who's obviously being weird, yes older men calling women sweetheart is gross. But my grandpa calls women sweetheart, he's only 58, and he's not creepy about it; it's said in a light-hearted, funny way. He's also southern, so that may have to do with it. :P
Darraghscoot 0
you probably only tell him you love him when you want money for that new dress you had your eye on.
princess_ella 0
he could really love you.... or want a *******
kriptonite_fml 0
so what. he is not right for you just leave y r u so gullible
DocBastard 40
Sorry, but I need to translate this into standard English: "So what? He is not right for you. Just leave. Why are you so gullible?" Why would you spell out "gullible" but not "why?" Why????
xThatAsianGurlx 0
........Give him more ********? :D
Howljerk 0
This
DaveOnDope 4
Right on sweetheart! But 69 is more divine.
iliketurdles 7
do Asian girls even give bj's? where I'm from, they are not allowed to breathe with out permission. But then again I did meet her from the back of the truck, where a guy was selling them for £150.
XoX_CUPCAKES_XoX 0
haha thats what i thought if OP likes hearing it,then you do what it takea right?? ;)
rogerover 19
Yes, yes, yes. Do it more. Every day.
HeretoBlame 3
tells you something about him doesn't it?
harryanne 0
he sounds great to spend so much time with you playing games and getting bjs and all. I am sure you like it.