Today, my boyfriend was laying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passion in his eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me that he loved me. Instead, he said, "You have a booger." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML
Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML
Today, I was making out with a really hot guy in a Jacuzzi. He had the biggest booger hanging out of his nostril, but I was too embarrassed to say anything to him about it. He went in for a kiss. Soon after our lips parted, he said, "Oh, you have big booger." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend asking if I'd Skype with him. Thinking he'd find my tousled bed hair and big t-shirt sexy, I went on. The first thing he noticed was the massive booger on my face that stretched from my nose to the other side of my cheek. FML
Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML
Today, I saw my 32-year-old boyfriend of 4 years pick his nose and eat it. The booger in question was attached to his nose and he sucked it out spaghetti-style. He then tried to kiss me. I still feel my stomach churning. FML
Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth, and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML
Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying, "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked his nose and tried to stick his booger up my nose, claiming that it was time to plant his "seed." FML
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Top comments
cndrow 0
You're in bed with someone and they haven't told you they love you? ...
pspnick 0
well at least you didnt have a double bogey, you can still recover(i think you mean boogey, like booger)
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Comments (43)
cndrow 0
You're in bed with someone and they haven't told you they love you? ...
PeteyPablo12308 20
It doesn't say anything about bed...
Lucidium 0
You effin religious piece of ****
Candisalis 0
It's not religious to think that they're moving too fast in that relationship.
loganberrybat 11
I bet you're one of those possessive types aren't ya... People in the 21st century don't wait to be in love and married before having sex.
jchantale 7
Laying down doesn't mean sex. They could have been cuddling
pinkfrenchrose 5
Happened to me once. I screamed. haha
AssassinsCRB 0
You had a boogey so you screamed? Wtf...
nabee26 15
38- Exactly what I was thinking... WTF
CaptainDoorknob 7
I'd hate to see your reaction to your own vomit. Would you pass out?
pspnick 0
well at least you didnt have a double bogey, you can still recover(i think you mean boogey, like booger)
blueworld_fml 0
Before intimate moments, always check for boogies. Did he tell you he loved you anyway, boogies and all? Cuz he still could've made that work.
Vintage_fml 0
he doesnt need to say it,he does,maybe
AnnaSeptic 0
LOL.
xobabygurlx23 2
awww that is so adorableee
24788 7
That's a let down. FYL It's funny though.
leelee87_fml 0
Tomayto, tomahto. Actually, he sounds sweet. "I love you" or not (I'm betting he does), lucky you.
snode001 0
that is intimacy at it's best