Today, I saw the crazy meth guy, who randomly rolls up on you on his bike and tells you how he met Jesus, leading a little boy behind a church. After I made sure nothing weird was happening, I reported it to the police and posted a status to warn parents on Facebook, I found it was actually his kid. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was jogging in my neighborhood when I saw a kid's ball roll over to where I was jogging. I stopped, grabbed the ball for the kid and went to hand it to him. He then yelled, "Stranger danger!" and his parents came sprinting out. I had to explain the story to the police for 30 minutes. FML
Today, I found out I'm 9 weeks pregnant. I got on Facebook to message my baby daddy, but was stopped in my tracks by his mugshot plastered all over my news feed for an alleged meth distribution investigation. He was already on parole. FML
Today, I posted my phone for sale on Facebook. Someone hit me up to buy it and wanted me to meet them. I didn't really want to drive to them, but I'm a mom of two and I needed food and some extra cash, so I did it. The guy asked to look at the phone… and ran off with it. FML
Today, a creep called me out in the street and asked me why I was in that part of that street, because he "knows " I live in another part of the street, and he found it "odd" that I was there. He was smiling all that time too. FML
Today, as I was driving to work, I witnessed a kid apparently getting jumped. Being a good citizen, I got out and started yelling at them. I ended up alongside the kid in the hospital. FML
Today, I thought it would be cool to take a picture of the guy whose kids I’m babysitting's Tesla and post it on my Instagram, passing it off as mine. I learned to keep my profile private, because the guy found my pic and posted, "Actually that’s my car." FML
Today, I received a message from a weird guy that's been stalking me online. Apparently, he travelled 4 hours last weekend to go to the same event as me, just to stare at me. He knew a LOT of details. He never spoke to me because that would "have been weird". I don't know what he looks like, so didn't recognise him. FML
Today, I was chilling out with my friend in a parking lot, when a police officer came up to the vehicle and suspiciously asked what we were up to. My friend sarcastically said, "Uh, doing drugs? Planning a drive-by? Haha!" We soon found ourselves in the back of a cop car. FML
Today, my friend went to go pick up some weed from her dealer. That same day her parents were searching her room, so guess who posted it through my letterbox so their parents wouldn’t find it. Unfortunately, my very religious parents found it and now think I'm being directed by Satan. FML
Today, I babysat an 11 year old kid while his parents ate out. As soon as they left, the kid asked me if I wanted to be on the sex offender's list. Before I could even process that, he told me to stay out of his way and he wouldn't accuse me of anything. FML
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Top comments
ojoRojo 27
Why would you report it to the police if “nothing weird was going on?”
Yummi_913 18
You know, rather safe than sorry. The embarrassment is worth ensuring a kids safety. I can't believe all these assholes who would just brush it off and act like "that's none of my business" in regards to a child possibly being sexually assaulted. Murica 😒 ..... You did the right thing with the knowledge you had. Thank you and don't feel bad. I would rather get a call from the popo asking if my husband is actually my daughter's dad (something that will probably be a funny story to reflect on in the future), than get a call from them telling me ANYTHING happened to her.
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Comments (7)
ojoRojo 27
Why would you report it to the police if “nothing weird was going on?”
lukey101 26
It was actually whose kid??
Yummi_913 18
You know, rather safe than sorry. The embarrassment is worth ensuring a kids safety. I can't believe all these assholes who would just brush it off and act like "that's none of my business" in regards to a child possibly being sexually assaulted. Murica 😒 ..... You did the right thing with the knowledge you had. Thank you and don't feel bad. I would rather get a call from the popo asking if my husband is actually my daughter's dad (something that will probably be a funny story to reflect on in the future), than get a call from them telling me ANYTHING happened to her.
peterblackmer91 12
Wow. Assume much? And is he really a crazy meth guy or do you just think he is?
Tammy Gabb 5
Better safe than sorry
aribanks 12
You were just being cautious for a childs sake. I understand. But sometimes meddling about things you have no actual knowledge or understanding about can be very dangerous and cause unnecessary trouble and heartache where its not deserved or warranted.
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Have you posted an apology and explanation on Facebook to try to counter what damage your original accusatory post did?