Today, after I went to collect my pay for babysitting, the girl's dad pulled the old "Can I pay you in Trident Layers?" bull on me. Hoping to show that I wasn't going to play ball, I told him that watching his gran inhale a cock would be funnier. If scowls could kill... FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after babysitting, the parents actually tried to pay me in Trident Layers Gum. FML
Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML
Today, the guy whose son I babysat for six hours straight confessed to being broke, then actually asked if he could pay me with sex instead. FML
Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on the job. After his mom finally got home 4 hours later, he called her a slut. When he got in trouble for it, he claimed that I taught him the word. Needless to say, I didn't get paid. FML
Today, my dad offered to pay me $40 to wash his car. Needing money to buy a video game, I agreed, and went out in the freezing weather to do the job. I finished the task, only to be paid in Monopoly money. My dad still hasn't gotten over how "funny" his prank was. FML
Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML
Today, trying to pocket a little extra cash for himself, my dad responded to multiple babysitting ads on Craigslist, accepting them all on my behalf. I despise children with all my heart. FML
Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML
Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML
Today, my boss asked me if he could pay me in gum. Thinking he was playing around, I agreed. He wasn't playing around. FML
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Top comments
kickazz16 15
That was rude.
thebeautybleeds 17
Why would you even say that?
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Comments (369)
ellybelly_502 4
Wow your unprofessional.. And an ass
jizzwold 21
Seriously. Why would Op say that?
oreobunbun 3
The dad was just ******* joking!
brown4lifejot 1
6-The reasons on the FML but its messed up.
urdirtyolduncle 15
You're a total bitch, OP. The dad was just joking. Just go die, you asshole.
Pandaloverr 0
I woulda' been happy with what I got . Only spearmint though ..
Damn_Hippster 11
I would have taken the trident layers... Op your a total douche!
blackheart24 10
Op is ****** up. If scowls could kill this FML would be better.
HappyPanda2016 14
Yes FYL, because he is never going to hire you again dumbass. Idiots nowadays...
LolFMLnot 10
TBH OP you are a jerk. YDI !!! But if you regret it then apologize .... Asshole -.-
Emoney1 3
^ Wow, you're unprofessional and an ass.
My_Sweet_Shadow 4
Guess you jumped the gun there, sometimes it pays to bite your tongue, so to speak.
ShadesOfBlue5 9
At first I thought this was funny, and then I realized OP is a douche. Like there's some things you just keep to yourself, and this is one of them.
DropTheDaggerxx 31
Even if the father was serious, a response like that is uncalled for. Professionalism is important, even if your employer makes a dumb joke. You say shit like that to your friends- even then it might cross a line. You deserved that. If I was the father, I wouldn't have paid you at all after that.
iam_yummylicious 12
I agree with #1. I would beat your ass, then not pay you. Guess you're out of a job...
melonrind 8
Now op doesn't have Trident Layers.........or a job!
LaneDoyleStoleMy 0
Lol! I get it ;). The original responder shouldn't be allowed to get that many thumbs up for such terrible grammar.
rallets 23
noone ever pays me in gum :(
bonebreaker223 1
Sweet nice comment that funny
ILoveDaWorld 5
seriously wtf is wrong with OP. that's just not something u say, dumbass.
princessofdenial 2
Where I come from I would have ended up getting paid with a butt whooping and sent home to my Daddy for the same.
snagglepaste 0
That was really ****** ballsy op.
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Yeah, and then you went home and killed yourself right? Cuz this world really doesnt need scum like you..
docscientist 10
Those trident layers commercials make me rage, even more so when someone thinks they're being funny by mimicking it in life.
ifuckmonsters 5
*You're
mannykiddo 3
Nobody ever pays me in gum. :(
meelo88 13
wow you can expect never to be called again....
ncolby7 0
Lighten up. That is all.
Helldemon 32
I hope he didn't pay your ignorant, disrespectful ass.
Michaelsmith1502 4
Ndfjtztpsydysuduxhhcustsofzogzpgzpgvkcgpxuogzpgzotsphzo.....FML!!!!!
harmonyluffs 4
Youre*
sacrosanct2 23
This is hilarious, lighten up..
Kamon97 23
It's people like you OP that just makes me want to punch you in the face as hard as I can...
kickazz16 15
That was rude.
HappyPanda2016 14
Agreed. OP is a douche bag.
comedybreak 20
Can someone explain this to me? I've never seen FMLs worded so terribly
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
My guess is OP has a fetish for older woman giving blow jobs...and wants to be apart of it
iiNommBaconz 0
Kids a ****** troll. -.-
me_gusta_eso 1
BITCH ASS NIGGAH (OP)
hotPinklipstick 24
What would possess you to say something like that to your employeer? That is beyond unprofessional and just plain rude. OP why don't you go choke on a dick.
thebeautybleeds 17
Why would you even say that?
iiNommBaconz 0
Seeing as how the dad was probably joking and most likely would have paid you, you are a complete dumb ass. Good luck trying to babysit someone else's kids el fucktard.
tinydanzr 6
I know! Why would u say that? Are u an idiot?
jonn090 13
That guy must have been on some crack or some shit
tinydanzr 6
I meant why would op say that :)
Sebash_fml 0
OP should have taken the gum for that dirty mouth!
kacielikewhoa 0
That's Orbit. :x
tinydanzr 6
110-it was the babysitter that made the stupid remark!
Buttsexpirate 9
Way to be a rude little shit and perpetuate the stereotype that teens are assholes OP.
ohdearkristen 0
How do you know it's a teenager? But yeah, OP, I'd be surprised if they let you babysit again.
cj7geojeep 0
Your right 17...there is no way op is a teenager. I know if I had kids, I would let a random 45 year old dude watch them. Lol (please don't hate me. Yes, it was sarcasm)
white16sox 19
A simple "No, I'd rather cash," would've sufficed.
MagicGiraffe 12
Pay me in singles.
taptaptapity 2
17- it's most definitely a teenager, who else would be so naive to think that was an appropriate response, or think thy crass and rude behavior is what makes someone respected...
LegalyWhite 7
Dont be a dick and call ALL teens assholes... Thats just not kool
False_Stupidity 42
Is accept payment in bacon strips... mmmmm
yollew 5
Thank you, Buttsexpirate, for proving that teens can be mature and perverted/rude in any way. I think we all can learn a valuable lesson from Buttsexpirate, don't you?
yollew 5
can't not can at the first 'can'.... Sorry BSP... I have failed teenagers all around with my typing error.... Please look past that, you totally mature and harmless adults.
mk58 31
Yollew, I don't think you understood what Buttsexpirate was saying... She said that OP was acting in a way that reinforced the stereotype that teens are rude, obnoxious pieces of shit. Which not all teens are, but that's why it's called a stereotype.
X8_SUPERIOR_8X 6
Your name is buttsexpirate
kut19 6
What kind of perv are you?
brown4lifejot 1
LOL "wat kind"
urdirtyolduncle 15
The kind that doesn't go away.
iiNommBaconz 0
The kind that sniffs your seat after you get up and leave...
zombicidal 11
the kind that walks far too close behind you
perdix 31
The kind that is into GILF, or "Mature," ****. Now that I've helped you find the category, go find some grans inhaling cocks and laugh yourself to ******!
rabbittboi 18
To all the GILFS & MILFS we've loved before... Hopefully OP isn't carrying for "granny" instead of little Johnny or Susie. What am I saying: F the L of whoever he sits.
lerouxmaster 7
The kind that goes around and destroys combos that were YEARS in the making.
AwkwardPartyBear 24
The kind that sits across to you and repeats every word that your saying under their breath (fml reference)
IndigoFuckYou 9
I feel sorry for the kids you babysat. What'd you tell them, that they were the result of a drunken sex orgy gone wrong and that their parents didn't love them??
g_ayvel 11
I don't know why 90 is being thumbed down,it's true most guys do not babysit
LegalyWhite 7
I agree all he had to do was shrug the some what korny joke off. He obivisouly was gunna pay
chili10 18
I don't understand what being male has to do with babysitting a girl. When you're a babysitter you don't limit yourself to one sex.
puppydog 12
Oh yeah, **** YOUR life... you jackass.
DoctorWhooves 6
Wait. What the actual ****. Why would you say that? Just... why?
trollfaced 2
You would say that infront of a little kid. SMH
RomanBeauty 0
What does SMH stand for?
TheRealEllieSan 9
Shaking My Head
DynamicDave 11
Suck My Herpes
Nyolia 11
No words can properly express how stupid this is.