Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML
Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML
Today, my boyfriend had a bad dream that a horse was biting his fingers off. He punched the horse in the neck, and in real life punched me in the spine. Twice. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided it would be fun to sit on my lap. In the process he landed on me so hard that he made me hit my head. Then when he turned around his elbow smacked into my nose causing it to break. FML
Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
Today, I was being a little playful with my boyfriend when we began wrestling. He then put me in a choking headlock and wouldn't let me out until I "tapped out". FML
Today, I broke my boyfriend's nose trying to pop his blackheads. His leg jerked in shock, kicked my leg, and I fell, breaking the mirror, cutting myself, and slamming into the bathroom sink. I woke up in the hospital, with over a hundred stitches, and my poor boyfriend in jail for suspected domestic abuse. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to pick my nose. FML
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Top comments
imaweener 0
OP, you should dream about being in a tag rope contest and pull his dick as hard as you can. haha.
mariahrawks 0
I'd like to see an FML where nobody chooses YDI. Honestly, someone explain to me how OP deserved this; it's not like OP punched him first as far as we're concerned.
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Comments (164)
baltomushishi 0
wow , kicking at night is one thing but actually grabbing someones head and punching is a far more advanced level .lol FYL
mariahrawks 0
I'd like to see an FML where nobody chooses YDI. Honestly, someone explain to me how OP deserved this; it's not like OP punched him first as far as we're concerned.
SeasonedSausage 0
it's just... because
S_Mala 0
OP deserves it because she could have blocked, but decides to just let him punch her in the face. It also shows how fast her reflex is.
MermaidSongXOXO 6
OP was ASLEEP, and the boyfriend probably woke her up by grabbing her in the back of the head, and then punched her before she had a chance to defend herself. #29, you're a ********. NOBODY would decide to let someone punch them in the face. You're.... GRR you make me so angry! I can't even describe someone like you properly.
exoticfuck 0
lol 29 got totally owned by 31 XD
S_Mala 0
31 I do know I'm a ******** already, don't have to remind me >.>. I'm also dyslexic....
uxoriouswidow 0
I'd say it's the other way round, as his humour seemed to soar way above her head.
kikiface 1
#29, she was asleep. reflexes don't apply when you are asleep.
mexicantumblewee 0
@kikiface not true. my reflexes are always at peak performance. I once caught a bullet, a fly, and the flu all in my sleep
anorexicbarbie 8
ooh 36 cry me a river you have dyslexia
S_Mala 0
70 You can cry it yourself. I hate when people think I say that I have dyslexia so I can get sympathy, but I hate sympathy and I don't want it. I only said I did have it because I made a mistake on reading the FML, it's not the end of the world because I made my mistake. And I admit the mistake too.
AngryNinja 1
tara wins again!
Felium 0
lol r u chuck norris
Zills 0
At 31 I'm a boxer I primarily signed up to punch others in the face but do get punched in the face myself. Therefore proving part of your statement wrong. OP's boyfriend likes dirtyboxing. I'll beat him up for you OP.
helloello 2
touché
ShockwaveXIII 8
S_mala Then why the **** do you tell people you have dyslexia?
subscript 15
Sometimes i hit the wrong one then can't undo it but otherwise dido
villetf 11
I think a lot of people accidentally choose YDI. I don't know if it's just my phone, but I can't "unclick" FYL or YDI.
qr_fml 21
lolz
Person1233 13
YDI for breathing. Get with the damn times.
dorkside_fml 0
wow
MermaidSongXOXO 6
He wasn't asleep. He just wanted an excuse to Chris Brown you.
htownlove 0
OP got Rihannad lol
Ademus 0
Lmao. Perhaps Chris should've said it was a dream/accident? Maybe then it would've just ended up on FML instead of ruining his career...
screwedupclick 0
it's because your shit at sucking dick
MLPH2010 0
It's YOU'RE not your moron.
BlueBomber 0
it is you are not the moron that belongs to you?
boy_scout_of_dea 0
fyl
iamchuck 0
Some people just express thier desire to break up in a different manner than others.
Fedor_is_KING 0
Your BF fails.... and OP, the correct term is MMA. UFC is a brand, MMA is the sport. And Fedor is the KING of MMA
uxoriouswidow 0
If someone fights in the UFC, they are a UFC fighter. Unfortunately, that was a bit of a pedantry-fail.
radmuffin 12
UFC is not a brand; it's an organization, like the NFL.
Fedor_is_KING 0
You know what I mean 107, don't get technical with me ;) They are the "brand name" org. The one the noobs watch and think that's the only place that has MMA fights worth watching.
Zills 0
Sengoku and Dream k1 is beast my dad owns an mma shop
dugumit 0
really? wonder how your face will look after his next dream? and the next and the next..