Today, my boyfriend had a bad dream that a horse was biting his fingers off. He punched the horse in the neck, and in real life punched me in the spine. Twice. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, I was thrown from a horse. Thankfully, there was a trainer there to break my fall and prevent serious injury. Instead of being concerned for my safety or even grateful, my boyfriend flew into a rage that the trainer’s hands had brushed my breasts while saving me. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, my dad tried to help me overcome my intense fear of horses (due to nearly being killed by one as a child) by taking me to a ranch. Within 30 minutes, a horse bit my face. FML
Today, I went horseback riding with this guy I like. I asked him to help me get on the horse. I slipped, and while trying to keep my balance, I kicked him in the face. FML
Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML
Today, my fiancé had a nightmare and sat bolt upright in bed, claimed he had a nightmare where we were married, then his head hit the pillow and he was asleep again. That was his nightmare. Us being married. FML
Today, I lay in bed reflecting on my fiancé's complaint about my lack of displays of affection. I felt terrible, so I rolled over and hugged him in his sleep. He's a fully trained martial artist and his immediate reaction was to try to snap my neck. FML
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Top comments
Doortje 30
Bite his fingers off.
fountaindn4 0
should have shoved a carrot down his throat after the first time
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Comments (103)
xBangOut 4
I lol'd
bariforlife 0
me too hahaha
emily14swim 0
Hahah same
tulsafml 0
I as well did the action of loling. This goes to show how horse are Just So ******* Epic
Adorlee 11
This reminded me of the amazing horse haha
nisaa 0
why were you even sleeping with him when he's just your boyfriend?
ridikulous 0
are u kidding 90? grow up. or if ur already an adult, step outside the church for a bit and get some fresh air.
sumguyonFML 0
wow 93. take it easy. I hate people like you that attack people at first sight and think their right just because they were more aggressive. some people in the world DO (whether your brain can handle it or not) have different views and beliefs. I sleep with my girlfriend too, but im not gonna bash a chick for thinking otherwise. have some respect you arrogant shit.
nahgemsoohc 0
so, were you biting his fingers??haha;)
ChickenNuggets22 0
I believe it's pronounced lawl
j300zx 0
At least he wasn't dreaming the horse was biting his dick. lol
TXjuggalo972 6
weird ********** dreams FTW haha
Thabb 0
Biting or sucking?
j300zx 0
^ Good point.
RedPillSucks 33
Damn. I was gonna say that... OP, by fingers, did you mean dick? Never give someone a ******* while they're sleeping.
lily389 0
haha no, but I'll keep that in mind. and I wasn't actually biting them, he was sleeping on them so they were going numb.
Silentstrike 11
the OP commented!!!!!! WOOT they commented!!!
holymolybro 0
Omg! :D! OP, yay. Also, did you punch him back or perhaps cause him pain? Because my limbs flail when I sleep. i've actually punched my sister in the face and elbowed my dad in the spine and neck.
holymolybro 0
Forgot to put the whole point of that story, so here it is..They hit me back.
fountaindn4 0
should have shoved a carrot down his throat after the first time
Mesocoollike 8
^^ True
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Up his ass*
Doortje 30
Bite his fingers off.
insanesna1l 0
donkey punch!!!
j300zx 0
donkey show? :D
insanesna1l 0
both are acceptable
Maflagulator 1
Was the horse a gift and was he looking into it's mouth? That explains why it would be biting his fingers....
j300zx 0
Nice six pack. You remind me of a guy with a huge gut that tattooed a six pack of beers on his stomach.
insanesna1l 0
that's a real mans pack. Let's stick it to all those gym junkies with their health and stamina.
Maflagulator 1
Yeah...bunch of bitches!!
denbeste 3
#15 six packs are for *******... every gym guy is a pussy, trust me. They always run away from a fight. Always.
rompgr 0
haha! woof!
JosherMan 0
Never look a gift horse in the mouth, I might be the only one who got that.
andreabeth95 2
haha win^
ReynshineCutting 10
That's such bullshit it's not even funny. Do you know any bodybuilders? They'd kick your ass in a second. My fiance is a gym rat and goes 5 days a week, same with his best friend. His best friend has kicked more guys asses than we can count and my fiance has come pretty damn close if I hadn't held him back. Another example of ignorance in today's world.
LunaNstars 0
#63 you're a very shallow girl. hope your pussy of a boyfriend dreams of horses. kidding, I'm not that mean, but you're still shallow.
Katie_the_Great 6
totally agree!
Katie_the_Great 6
with #59 except mines not a pussy
Prankster7o7 5
#59, Just because someone is a bodybuilder DOES NOT mean they know how to fight, since a lot of bodybuilders are pansies, who think they know how to fight just because they have big muscles, now I'm not saying your husband can't fight, I'm just saying a lot of them can't.
Miss_Michaela 10
That creates a whole new meaning for a 'Charlie Horse'.
pepsie_fml 0
win
Happygofucky 0
Ouch, poor thing. Next time tape pillows to his hands or something :P
Miss_Michaela 10
She should pretend to have a nightmare later in the week. Then she could punch him in the nuts... Twice.
xoxoMEGANxoxo 13
haha I agree with #16
Miss_Michaela 10
I see what you mean. But if he doesn't feel guilty, then I think it's fair for a bit of payback.
lily389 0
oh he felt pretty horrible.
ulicksam 0
I didn't know Sarah Jessica Parker posted here.
j300zx 0
win
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
Tonight, kick him in the nuts and say you were dreaming that a deranged monkey was humping your leg. :D
Pb25797051 0
not funny
Blackmail111 9
It's friggin hilarious
JaneCapucine 0
I thought it was funny.