Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in our relationship and it was great. He drove me back to my house and walked me to the door, then instead of kissing me goodbye he patted me on the back. Twice. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML
Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for a second time. When I was getting dressed afterwards with him sitting next to me, there was a silence. To break it, he grabbed my hand and fistbumped me. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I started stroking the back of his neck with both of my hands. He told me, "Your hands are nice and smooth like my grandmother's." FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, I walked to my boyfriend's house, which takes literally 2 minutes since we are also neighbours. He wanted sex straight away. The walk took longer than the sex, by over a full minute. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
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Top comments
jSOPURE 3
You had bad breath? ;)
render 0
Wow lmao, that must feel terrible. (Hey, I remember I checked "Yes" to this FML while moderating!)
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Comments (115)
Zic_fml 7
OMG. My guess is you have probably kissed during the intercourse. Maybe he was in a hurry or whatever, I would not pay THAT much attention to that. Oh NOOOOO; I got my back patted. TWICE!!
autumnshivaree 0
Makes you sound like a horse, doesn't it. Patting your horse after a hard ride. Hmm. Poor you. Well, hope he was just having a "guy" moment and that the relationship is still strong
Kyzomo 0
LOL at #32
asdfghjkl_12 0
I don't know about anyone else, but where I live, two pats on the back means "I'm gay", and three means "I'm not gay." Get it? That might be what the poster meant. If not, that just sucks.
dwights 0
That will do pig...that will do.
Mellyy_V 0
honestly that really sucks maybe he was juz after dhat jz realize dhat if dhats all he wanted he wasnt worth ur time.. and dhen tell everyone he gave u dhe itch! lolz.. buh of course u got cured lol
guernica_fml 0
I notice that YOU didn't kiss him goodbye either.
Sulk 0
I think this is cute in some sort of fey precarious way. Passionate goodbyes aren't always necessary and are a little too rich sometimes. Probably especially so after sex. You and he were loved out, or should have been.
VioletED 0
#3 if it were a hug, i'd agree with you. but a pat? on the back? that's just. well. you kn0w
choppedNskrewed 0
youve officially been chopped and skrewed